The
Hordes of Hell Are Marching
by Rick
Joyner
(Taken from "The Morning Star," Vol. 5, Nos 2-4,)
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This is a panoramic dream and vision I received in early 1995. This is obviously
allegorical, as are most dreams and visions. I have tried to be faithful to what
I actually saw and experienced.
The Evil Army
I saw a demonic army so large that it stretched as far as I could see. It was
separated into divisions, with each carrying a different banner. The foremost
and most powerful divisions were Pride, Self righteousness, Respectability,
Selfish Ambition, and Unrighteous Judgment, but the largest of all was Jealousy.
The leader of this vast army was the Accuser of the Brethren himself. I knew
that there were many more evil divisions beyond my scope of vision, but these
were the vanguard of this terrible horde from hell that was now being released
against the church.
The weapons carried buy this horde had names on them: the swords were named
Intimidation; the spears were named Treachery; and their arrows were named
Accusations, Gossip, Slander and Faultfinding. Scouts and smaller companies of
demons with such names as Rejection, Bitterness, Impatience, Unforgiveness and
Lust were sent in advance of this army to prepare for the main attack. I knew in
my heart that the church had never faced anything like this before.
The main assignment of this army was to cause division. It was sent to attack
every level of relationship-churches with each other, congregations with their
pastors, husbands and wives, children and parents, and even children with each
other. The scouts were sent to locate the openings in churches, families or
individuals that rejection, bitterness, lust, etc., could exploit and make a
larger breech for the divisions that were coming.
The most shocking part of this vision was that this horde was not riding on
horses, but on Christians! Most of them were well-dressed, respectable, and had
the appearance of being refined and educated. These were Christians who had
opened themselves to the powers of darkness to such a degree that the enemy
could use them and they would think that they were being used by God. The
Accuser knows that a house divided cannot stand, and this army represented his
ultimate attempt to bring such complete division to the church that she would
completely fall from grace.
The Prisoners
Trailing behind these first divisions were a vast multitude of other Christians
who were prisoners of this army. They were all wounded, and were guarded by
little demons of Fear. There seemed to be more prisoners than there were demons
in the army. Surprisingly, these prisoners still had their swords and shields,
but they did not use them. It was shocking to see that so many could be kept
captive by so few of these little demons of Fear. These could have easily been
destroyed or driven off if the prisoners had just used their weapons.
Above the prisoners the sky was black with vultures named Depression. These
would land on the shoulders of a prisoner and vomit on him. The vomit was
Condemnation. When the vomit hit a prisoner he would stand up and march a little
straighter for a while, and then slump over, even weaker than before. Again, I
wondered why the prisoners did not simply kill these vultures with their swords,
which they could have easily done.
Occasionally a weak prisoner would stumble and fall. As soon as he or she hit
the ground, the other prisoners would begin stabbing them with their swords,
scorning them as they did so. They would then call for the vultures to begin
devouring the fallen one even before they were dead.
As I watched, I realized that these prisoners thought that the vomit of
condemnation was truth from God. Then I understood that these prisoners actually
thought they were marching in the army of God! This is why they did not kill the
little demons of fear, or the vultures-they thought these were messengers from
God! The darkness from the cloud of vultures made it so hard for these prisoners
to see that they naively accepted everything that happened to them as being from
the Lord.
The only food provided for these prisoners was the vomit from the vultures.
Those who refused to eat it simple weakened until they fell. Those who did eat
it were strengthened, but with the strength of the evil one. They would then
begin to vomit on the others. When one began to do this a demon that was waiting
for a ride would be given this one and he or she would be promoted to the front
divisions.
Even worse than the vomit from the vultures was a repulsive slime that these
demons were urinating and defecating upon the Christians they rode. This slime
was the pride, selfish ambition, etc., that was the nature of the division they
were a part of. However, this slime made the Christians feel so much better than
the condemnation that they easily believed that the demons were messengers of
God, and they actually thought this slime was the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Then the voice of the Lord came to me saying, "This is the beginning of the
enemy's last day army. This is Satan's ultimate deception, and his ultimate
power of destruction is released when he uses Christians to attack other
Christians. Throughout the ages he has used this army, but never has he been
able to capture so many to be used for his evil purposes. Do not fear. I have an
army too. You must now stand and fight, because there is no longer any place to
hide from this war. You must fight for My Kingdom, for truth, and for those who
have been deceived."
I had been so repulsed and outraged by the evil army that I had wanted to die
rather than live in such a world. However, this word from the Lord was so
encouraging that I immediately began yelling to the Christian prisoners that
they were being deceived, thinking that they would listen to me. When I did
this, it seemed that the whole army turned to look at me, but I kept yelling. I
thought that the Christians were going to wake up and realize what was happening
to them, but instead many of them started reaching for their arrows to shoot at
me. The others just hesitated as if they did not know what to make of me. I knew
then that I had done this prematurely, and that it had been a very foolish
mistake.
The Battle Begins
Then I turned and saw the army of the Lord standing behind me. There were
thousands of soldiers, but we were still greatly outnumbered. Only a small
number were fully dressed in their armor so that most were only partially
protected. A large number were already wounded. Most of those who had all of
their armor still had very small shields which I knew would not protect them
from the onslaught that was coming. The majority of these soldiers were women
and children.
Behind this army there was a trailing mob similar to the prisoners who followed
the evil army, but very different in nature. These seemed to be very happy
people, and were playing games, singing songs, feasting and roaming about from
one little camp to the next. It reminded me of the atmosphere at Woodstock. I
tried to raise my voice above the clamor to warn them that it was not the time
for this, that the battle was about to begin, but only as few could even hear my
voice. Those who did gave me the "peace sign" and said they did not
believe in war, and that the Lord would not let anything bad happen to them. I
tried to explain that the Lord had given us armor for a reason, but they just
retorted that they had come to a place of peace and joy where nothing would
happen to them. I began praying earnestly for the Lord to increase the faith
(shields) of those with the armor, to help us protect those who were not ready
for the battle.
A messenger came up to me, gave me a trumpet and told me to blow it quickly. I
did, and those who had on at least some of their armor immediately responded,
snapping to attention. More armor was brought to them, which they put on
quickly. I noticed that those who had wounds did not put armor over their
wounds, but before I could say anything about this enemy arrows began raining
down on us. Everyone who did not have on all of his or her armor was wounded.
Those who had not covered their wounds were struck again in the same place.
Those who were hit by arrows of slander immediately began to slander those who
were not wounded. Those who were hit with gossip began to gossip, and soon a
major division had been created within our camp. Then vultures swooped down to
pick up the wounded to deliver them into the camp of prisoners. The wounded
still had swords and could have smitten the vultures easily, but they didn't.
They were actually carried off willingly because they were so angry at the rest
of us.
The scene among those in the camp behind our army was even worse. There seemed
to be total chaos. Thousands lay on the ground wounded and groaning. Many of
those who were not wounded just sat in a stupor of unbelief. The wounded and
those who sat in unbelief were being quickly carried away by the vultures. Some
were trying to help the wounded, and keep the vultures off of them, but the
wounded were so angry they would threaten and drive away those who were trying
to help them.
Many who were not wounded were simply running as fast as they could from the
scene of battle. This first encounter with the enemy was so devastating that I
was tempted to join them in their flight. Then, very quickly, some of these
began reappearing with full suits of armor on, and large shields. The mirth of
the party had changed into an awesome resolve. They began to take the places of
those who had fallen, and even began forming new ranks to protect the rear and
flanks. These brought great courage, and everyone resolved to stand and fight
until death. Immediately three great angels named Faith, Hope, and Love came and
stood behind us, and everyone's shield began to grow.
The High Way
We had swords named the Word of God, and arrows that were named for biblical
truths. We wanted to shoot back, but did not know how to without hitting the
Christians that were ridden by the demons. Then it occurred to us that if these
Christians were hit with the truth they would wake up and fight off their
oppressors. I fired off a few arrows. Almost all of them hit Christians.
However, when the arrow of truth went into them, they did not wake up, or fall
down wounded-they became enraged, and the demon riding on them grew much larger.
This shocked everyone, and we began to feel that this may be an impossible
battle to win, but with Faith, Hope and Love we were very confident that we
could at least hold our own ground. Another angel named Wisdom then appeared and
directed us to fight from the mountain behind us.
On the mountain there were ledges at different levels for as high as you could
see. At each higher level the ledges became narrower, and harder to stand on.
Each level was named after a biblical truth. The lower levels were named after
foundational truths such as "Salvation," "Sanctification,"
"Prayer," "Faith," etc., and the higher levels were named
after more advanced biblical truths. The higher we climbed, the larger both our
shields and our swords grew, and fewer of the enemy arrows could reach that
position.
A Tragic Mistake
Some who had stayed on the lower levels began picking up the enemy arrows and
shooting them back. This was a tragic mistake. The demons easily dodged the
arrows and let them hit the Christians. When a Christian was hit by one of the
arrows of Accusation or Slander, a demon of Bitterness or Rage would fly in and
perch on that arrow. He would then begin to urinate and defecate his poison upon
that Christian. When a Christian had two or three of these demons added to the
Pride or Self righteousness he already had, he began to change into the
contorted image of the demons themselves.
We could see this happening from the higher levels, but those on the lower
levels who were using the enemy's arrows could not see it. Half of us decided to
keep climbing, while the other half descended back to the lower levels to
explain to those still on them what was happening. Everyone was then warned to
keep climbing and not stop, except for a few who stationed themselves on each
level to keep the other soldiers moving higher.
Safety
When we reached the level called "The Unity of the Brethren," none of
the enemy's arrows could reach us. Many in our camp decided that was as far as
they needed to climb. I understood this because with each new level the footing
was more precarious. However, I also felt much stronger and more skillful with
my weapons the higher I went, so I continued climbing.
Soon my skills were good enough to shoot and hit the demons without hitting the
Christians. I felt that if I kept going higher I could shoot far enough to hit
the leaders of the evil horde who stayed behind their army. I was sorry that so
many had stopped on the lower levels, where they were safe but could not hit the
enemy. Even so, the strength and character that grew in those who kept climbing
made them great champions, each of which I knew would destroy many of the enemy.
At each level there were arrows of Truth scattered about which I knew were left
from those who had fallen from that position. All of the arrows were named after
the Truth of that level. Some were reluctant to pick up these arrows, but I knew
we needed all that we could to destroy the great horde below. I picked one up,
shot it, and so easily hit a demon that the others started picking them up and
shooting them. We began to decimate several of the enemy divisions. Because of
this, the entire evil army focused its attention on us. For a time it seemed the
more we achieved the more we were opposed. Though our task seemed endless, it
had become exhilarating.
The Word Is Our Anchor
Our swords grew as we reached each level. I almost left mine behind because I
did not seem to need it at the higher levels. I finally decided that it had been
given to me for purpose, so I had better keep it. I drove it into the ground and
tied myself to it while I shot at the enemy. The voice of the Lord then came to
me, saying: "You have used the wisdom that will enable you to keep
climbing. Many have fallen because they did not use their sword properly to
anchor themselves." No one else seemed to hear this voice, but many saw
what I had done and did the same thing.
I wondered why the Lord had not spoken to me before I had made this decision. I
then had a sense of knowing that He had already spoken this to me somehow. Then
I perceived that my whole life had been training for this four. I was prepared
to the degree that I had listened to the Lord and obeyed Him throughout my life.
I also knew that for some reason the wisdom and understanding I now had could
not be added to or taken away from while in this battle. I became profoundly
thankful for every trial I had experienced in my life, and sorry for not
appreciating them more at the time.
Soon we were hitting the demons with almost perfect accuracy. Rage rose from the
enemy army like fire and brimstone. I knew that the Christians trapped in that
army were now feeling the brunt of that rage. Unable to hit us they were now
shooting at each other. With his arrows now ineffective against us, the enemy
sent the vultures to attack. Those who had not used their swords as anchors were
able to strike down many of the vultures, but they too were being knocked from
the ledges where they were standing. Some of these landed on a lower level, but
some fell all the way to the bottom and were picked up and carried off by the
vultures.
A New Weapon
The arrows of Truth would rarely penetrate the vultures, but they hurt them
enough to drive them back. Every time they were driven back some of us would
climb to the next level. When we reached the level called "Galatians Two
Twenty," we were above the altitude that the vultures could fly. At this
level the sky above almost blinded us with its brightness and beauty. I felt
peace like I had never felt it before.
Previously much of my fighting spirit had really been motivated out of as much
hatred and disgust for the enemy as it had been for the sake of the kingdom,
truth, and love for the prisoners. But it was on this level that I caught up to
Faith, Hope, and Love, which before I had only been following at a distance. On
this level I was almost overpowered by their glory. When I caught up to them
they turned to me, and began repairing and shining my armor. Soon it was
completely transformed and exuded the glory that was in them. When they touched
my sword, great bolts of brilliant lightning began flashing from it. Love then
said, "Those who reach this level are entrusted with the powers of the age
to come, but I must teach you how to use them."
The "Galatians Two Twenty" level was so wide that there was no longer
any danger of falling. There were also unlimited arrows with the name Hope
written on them. We shot some of them down at the vultures, and these arrows
killed them easily. About half who had reached this level kept shooting while
the others began carrying these arrows down to those still on the lower levels.
The vultures kept coming in waves upon the levels below, but with each one there
would be fewer than before. From "Galatians Two Twenty" we could hit
any enemy in the army except the leaders themselves, who were still out of
range. We decided not to use the arrows of Truth until we had destroyed all of
the vultures, because the cloud of depression they created made the truth less
effective. This took a very long time, but we never got tired.
Faith, Hope and Love, who had grown like our weapons with each level, were now
so large that I knew people far beyond the battle area could see them. Their
glory even radiated into the camp of prisoners who were still under a great
cloud of vultures. The exhilaration continued to grow in all of us. I felt that
being in this army, in this battle, had to be one of the greatest adventures of
all time.
After destroying most of the vultures that had been attacking our mountain, we
began picking off the vultures that had covered the prisoners. As the cloud of
darkness began dissipating and the sun began to shine down on them, they began
to wake up as if they had been in a deep sleep. They were immediately repulsed
by their condition, especially by the vomit that still covered them, and began
cleaning themselves up. As they beheld Faith, Hope and Love, they saw the
mountain we were on and began running for it. The evil horde rained arrows of
Accusation and Slander at them, but they did not stop. By the time they got to
the mountain many had a dozen or more arrows stuck in them, but seemed not to
even notice. As soon as they began to scale the mountain their wounds began to
heal. With the cloud of depression being dispelled it seemed as if everything
was getting much easier.
The Trap
The former prisoners had great joy in their salvation. They seemed so
overwhelmed with appreciation for each level as they began to scale the mountain
that it gave us a greater appreciation for those truths. Soon a fierce resolve
to fight the enemy also arose in the former prisoners. They put on the armor
provided and begged to be allowed to go back and attack the enemy. We thought
about it, but then decided we should all stay on the mountain to fight. Again
the voice of the Lord spoke, saying: "A second time you have chosen wisdom.
You cannot win if you try to fight the enemy on his own ground, but must remain
on My Holy mountain."
I was stunned that we had made another decision of such importance by just
thinking and discussing it briefly. I then resolved to do my best to not make
another decision of any consequence without prayer. Wisdom then stepped up to me
quickly, took both of my shoulders firmly and looked me intensely in the eyes,
saying: "You must do this!" I then noticed that, even though I had
been on the broad plateau of "Galatians Two Twenty," I had drifted to
the very edge without even knowing it, and could have easily fallen. I looked
again into the eyes of Wisdom, and he said with the utmost seriousness,
"Take heed when you think you stand, lest you fall. In this life you can
fall from any level."
The Serpents
For a long time we continued killing the vultures and picking off the demons
that were riding the Christians. We found that the arrows of different Truths
would have more of an impact on different demons. We knew that it was going to
be a long battle, but we were not taking any more casualties now, and we had
already passed the level of "Patience." Even so, after these
Christians had the demons shot off them, few would come to the mountain. Many
had taken on the nature of the demons, and continued in their delusion without
them. As the darkness of the demons dissipated we could see the ground moving
around the feet of these Christians. Then I saw that their legs were bound by
serpents called Shame.
We shot arrows of truth at the serpents, but they had little effect. We then
tried the arrows of Hope, but without result. From "Galatians Two
Twenty" it was very easy to go higher, so we started up to the higher
levels. Soon we happened upon a garden that was the most beautiful place I had
ever seen. Over the entrance to this garden was written, "The Father's
Unconditional Love." It was the most glorious and inviting doorway I had
ever seen, so we were compelled to enter. As soon as we did, we saw the Tree of
Life in the middle of this garden. It was still guarded by angels of awesome
strength. They looked as if they had been expecting us, so we had the courage to
pass them and walk up to the tree. One of them said, "Those who make it to
this level, who know the Father's love, can eat."
I did not realize how hungry I was. When I tasted the fruit, it was better than
anything I had ever tasted, but was also somehow familiar. It brought memories
of sunshine, rain, beautiful fields, the sun setting over the ocean, but even
more than that, of the people I loved. With every bite I loved everything and
everyone more. Then my enemies started to come to mind, and I loved them, too.
The feeling was soon greater than anything I had ever experienced, even the
peace on "Galatians Two Twenty." Then I heard the voice of the Lord,
and He said, "This is now your daily bread. It shall never be withheld from
you. You may eat as much and as often as you like. There is no end of My
love."
I looked up into the tree to see where the voice had come from, and saw that it
was filled with pure white eagles. They had the most beautiful, penetrating eyes
I have ever seen. They were looking at me as if waiting for instructions. One of
the angels said, "They will do your bidding. These eagles eat snakes."
I said, "Go! Devour the shame that has bound our brothers." They
opened their wings and a great wind came that lifted them into the air. These
eagles filled the sky with a blinding glory. Even as high as we were, I could
hear the sounds of terror from the enemy camp at the sight of these eagles
coming toward them.
The Lord Jesus Himself then stood in our midst. He touched each one, then said,
"I must now share with you what I shared with your brothers after My
ascension-the message of My Kingdom. The enemy's most powerful army has now been
pout to flight, but not destroyed. Now it is time for us to march forth with the
gospel of My kingdom. The eagles have been released and will go with us. We will
take arrows from every level, but I am your Sword, and I cam your Captain. It is
now time for the Sword of the Lord to be unsheathed."
I then turned and saw that the entire army of the Lord was standing in that
garden. There were men women and children from all races and nations, each
carrying their banners that moved in the wind with perfect unity. I knew that
nothing like this had been seen in the earth before. I knew that the enemy had
many more armies, and fortresses throughout the earth, but none could stand
before this great army. I said almost under my breath, "This must be the
day of the Lord." The whole host then answered in an awesome thunder,
"The day of the Lord of Hosts has come."
We stood in the Garden of God under the Tree of Life. It seemed that the entire
army was there, kneeling before the Lord Jesus. He had just given us the charge
to return to the battle for the sake of our brothers who were still bound, and
for the world that He still loved. It was both a wonderful and a terrible
command. It was wonderful just because it came from Him. It was terrible because
it implied that we would have to leave His manifest presence, and the Garden
that was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before. To leave all of
this to go into battle seemed incomprehensible.
The Lord continued His exhortation: "I have given you spiritual gifts and
power, and an increasing understanding of My word and My kingdom, but the
greatest weapon that you have been given is the Father's love. As long as you
walk in My Father's love you will never fail. The fruit of this tree is the
Father's love which is manifested in Me. This love which is in Me must be your
daily bread."
The Lord was not what we might consider to be of a strikingly handsome
appearance, but was rather ordinary. Even so, the grace with which He moved and
spoke made Him the most attractive person I had ever seen. He was beyond human
definition in dignity and nobility. No painting that has sought to capture what
He looked like could ever do it, but somehow most of them do resemble Him. I
began to think of how He was everything that the Father loves and esteems. He
truly is full of grace and truth, to the point that it seemed that nothing but
grace and truth should ever matter.
When I ate the fruit from the Tree of Life, the thought of every good thing I
had ever known seemed to fill my soul. When Jesus spoke it was the same, only
magnified. I never wanted to leave this place. I remembered how I had once
thought it must have been boring for those angels who did nothing but worship
Him before the throne. Now I knew that there was nothing more wonderful or
exhilarating than simply worshiping Him. That would surely be the best part of
heaven. It was hard to believe that I had struggled so much with boredom during
worship services. I knew that it was only because I had been almost completely
out of touch with reality during those times.
Worship in Spirit and Truth
I was almost overwhelmed with the desire to go back and make up those times
during worship when I had allowed my mind to wander, or had occupied myself with
other things. The desire to express my adoration for Him became almost
uncontrollable. I had to praise Him! As I opened my mouth I was shocked by the
spontaneous worship that erupted from the entire army at the same time. I had
almost forgotten that anyone else was there, but we were all in perfect unity.
The glorious worship could not be expressed in human language.
As we worshiped, a golden glow began to emanate from the Lord, then there was
silver around the gold. Then colors, the richness of which I have never seen
with my natural eyes, enveloped us all. With this glory I entered a realm of
emotion that I had never experienced before. Somehow I understood that his glory
had been there all along, but when we focused on Him the way that we did in
worship, we simply began to see more of His glory. The more intensely we
worshiped, the more glory we beheld. If this was heaven, it was much, much
better than I had ever dreamed.
Finding His Dwelling Place
I have no idea how long this worship lasted. It could have been months, There
was simply no way to measure time in that kind of glory. For a time I closed my
eyes because the glory I was seeing with my heart was as great as what I was
seeing with my physical eyes. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see that
the Lord was not there any longer, but a troop of angels was standing where He
had been. One of them stepped us to me and said, "Close your eyes
again." When I did, I beheld the glory of the Lord again and was greatly
relieved.
Then the angel explained, "What you see with the eyes of your heart is more
real than what you see with your physical eyes." I had myself made this
statement many times, but how little I had truly walked in it! The angel
continued, "It was for this reason that the Lord told His first disciples
that it was better for Him to go away so that the Holy Spirit could come. The
Lord dwells within you. You have taught this many times, but now you must live
it, for you have eaten of the Tree of Life."
The angel then began to lead me back to the gate. I protested that I did not
want to leave. Looking surprised, the angel took me by the shoulders and looked
me in the eyes. That is when I recognized him as the angel, Wisdom. "You
never have to leave this garden. This garden is in your heart because the
Creator Himself is within you. You have desired the best part, to worship and
sit in His presence forever, and it will never be taken from you."
I acknowledged what Wisdom had said, and then looked past him at the fruit on
the Tree of Life. I had a compulsion to grab all that I could before leaving.
Knowing my thoughts, Wisdom gently shook me. "No. Even this fruit, gathered
in fear, would rot. This fruit and this tree are within you because He is in
you. You must believe."
I closed my eyes and tried to see the Lord again but couldn't. When I open my
eyes Wisdom was still staring at me. With great patience he continued, "You
have tasted of the heavenly realm, and no one ever wants to go back to the
battle once they do. No one every wants to leave the manifest presence of the
Lord. When the apostle Paul came here he struggled for the rest of his life as
to whether he should stay and labor for the Lord, or return here to enter into
his inheritance; but his inheritance was magnified the longer he stayed. Now
that you have the heart of a true worshiper you will always want to be here, and
you can when you enter into true worship. The more focused you are on Him, the
more glory you will see, regardless of where you are."
Wisdom's words had finally calmed me. Again I closed my eyes just to thank the
Lord for this wonderful experience, and the life He had given me. As I did, I
started to see His glory again, and all of the emotion of the previous worship
experience flooded my soul. The Lord's words to me were so loud and clear that I
was sure they were audible; "I will never leave or forsake you."
"Lord, forgive my unbelief," I responded. "Please help me to
never leave or forsake you."
Walking With Wisdom
As I opened my eyes, Wisdom was still gripping my shoulders. "I am the
primary gift that has been given to you for your work," he said, "I
will show you the way, and I will keep you on it, but only love will keep you
faithful. The highest wisdom is to love the Lord."
Then Wisdom released me and started to walk toward the gate. I followed with
ambivalence. I remembered the exhilaration of the battle and the climb up the
mountain, and it was compelling, but there was no comparison to the presence of
the Lord and the worship I had just experienced. Leaving this would be the
greatest sacrifice I had ever made. Then I remembered how it was all inside of
me, amazed that I could even forget that so quickly. I began to think about the
great battle that was raging within me, between what I saw with my physical eyes
and what I saw with my heart.
I moved forward so that I was walking beside Wisdom, and asked, "I have
prayed for 26 years to be caught up into the third heaven as Paul had. Is this
the third heaven?"
"This is part of it," he replied, "but there is much more."
"Will I be allowed to see more?" I asked.
"You will see much more. I am taking you to see more now," he replied.
I started thinking of the Book of Revelation. "Was John's revelation part
of the third heaven?" I asked.
"Part of John's revelation was from the third heaven, but most of it was
from the second heaven. The first heaven was before the fall of man. The second
heaven is the spiritual realm during the reign of evil upon the earth. The third
heaven is when the love and domain of the Father will again prevail over the
earth through your King."
"What was the first heaven like?" I inquired, strangely feeling a cold
chill as I asked.
"It is wisdom not to be concerned about that now," my companion
responded with increased seriousness as my question seemed to jolt him.
"Wisdom is to seek to know the third heaven just as you have. There is much
more to know about the third heaven than you can know in this life, and it is
the third heaven, the kingdom, that you much preach in this life. In the ages to
come you will be told about the first heaven, but it is not profitable for you
to know at this time."
I resolved to remember the cold chill I had just felt, and Wisdom nodded, which
I knew to be an affirmation to that thought. "What a great companion you
are, I had to say as I was just flooded with appreciation for this angel.
"You really will keep me on the right path."
"I will indeed," he replied.
I was sure I felt love coming from this angel, which was unique, since I had
never felt this from other angels, which showed more of a concern out of duty
than love. Wisdom responded to my thoughts as if I had spoken them out loud.
"It is wisdom to love and I could not be Wisdom if I did not love you. It
is also wisdom to behold the kindness and the severity of God. It is wisdom to
love Him and fear Him. You are in deception to do otherwise. This is the next
lesson that you must learn." he said with unmistakable earnest.
"I do know that, and have taught it many times," I responded, feeling
for the first time that maybe Wisdom did not fully know me.
"I have been your companion for a very long time, and I know your
teachings," Wisdom replied. "Now you are about to learn what some of
your own teachings mean. As you have said many times, 'It is not by believing in
your mind, but in your heart that results in righteousness.'"
I apologized, feeling a bit ashamed at having even questioned Wisdom. He
graciously accepted my apology. It was then that I realized I had been
questioning and challenging him most of my life, often to my injury.
The Other Half of Love
"There are times to adore the Lord," Wisdom continued, "and there
are times to honor Him with the greatest fear and respect. Just as there is a
time to plant, and a time to reap, and it is wisdom to know the time for each.
True wisdom knows the times and seasons of God. I brought you here because it
was time to worship the Lord in the glory of His love. I am now taking you to
another place because it is time for you to worship Him in the fear of His
judgment. Until you know both we can be separated from each other."
"Do you mean that if I had stayed back there in that glorious worship I
would have lost you?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes. I would have always visited with you when I could, but we would have
rarely crossed paths. It is hard to leave such glory and peace, but that is not
the whole revelation of the King. He is both the Lion of Judah and the Lamb. To
the spiritual children He is the Lamb. To the maturing He is the Lion. To the
fully mature He is both the Lion and the Lamb. You have known this in your mind,
and I have heard you teach it, but now you will know it in your heart, for you
are about to experience the judgment seat of Christ.
The Return to the Battle
Before leaving the gates to the Garden I asked Wisdom if I could just sit for a
while to ponder all that I had just experienced. "Yes, you should do
this," he replied, "But I have a better place for you to do it."
I followed Wisdom out of the gates and we began to descend down the mountain. To
my surprise the battle was still going on, but not nearly as intensely as it was
when we ascended. There were still arrows of accusation and slander flying about
on the lower levels, but most of the enemy horde that was left was furiously
attacking the great white eagles. The eagles were easily prevailing.
We kept descending until we were almost at the bottom. Just above the levels of
"Salvation" and "Sanctification" was the level
"Thanksgiving and Praise." I remembered this level very well because
one of the greatest attacks of the enemy came as I first tried to reach it. Once
we got here the rest of the climb was much easier, and if an arrow got through
your armor it healed much faster.
As soon as the enemy spotted me on this level (the enemy could not see Wisdom),
a shower of arrows began to rain down on me. I so easily knocked them down with
my shield that the enemy quit shooting. Their arrows were now almost gone and
they could not afford to waste any more.
The soldiers who were still fighting from this level looked at me in
astonishment with a deference that made me very uncomfortable. It was then that
I first noticed that the glory of the Lord was emanating from my armor and
shield. I told them to climb to the top of the mountain without stopping and
they, too, would see the Lord. As soon as they agreed to go they saw Wisdom.
They started fall down to worship Him, but he restrained them, and sent them on
their way.
The Faithful
I was filled with love for these soldiers, many of whom were women and children.
Their armor was a mess, and they were covered in blood, but they had not quit.
In fact. they were still cheerful and encouraged. I told them that they were
deserving of more honor than I was, because they had borne the greatest burden
of the battle, and had held their ground. They seemed not to believe me, but
appreciated that I would say it. However, I really felt that it was true.
Every level on the mountain had to be occupied or the vultures that were left
would come and foul it with vomit and excrement until it was difficult to stand
on. Most of the ledges were occupied by soldiers which I recognized to be from
different denominations or movements which emphasized the truth of the level
they were defending. I was embarrassed by the attitude I had maintained toward
some of these groups. I had considered some of them out of touch and backslidden
at best, but here they were fighting faithfully against a terrible onslaught of
the enemy. Their defense of these positions had probably enabled me to keep
climbing as I had.
Some of these levels were situated so that there was a view of a good part of
the mountain or battlefield, but some were so isolated that the soldiers on them
could only see their own position, and seemed not to even know about the rest of
the battle raging. They were often so wounded from the slander and accusations
that they would be resistant when someone came down to them from a higher level
and encouraged them to climb higher. However, when some began to come down from
the top reflecting the glory of the Lord, they listened with great joy, and soon
began to climb themselves with courage and resolve. As I beheld all of this,
Wisdom did not say much, but he seemed very interested in my reactions.
Reality Discovered
I watched as many soldiers who had been to the top began descending to all of
the levels to relieve those who had been taking their stand on those truths. As
they did, each level began to shine with the glory they carried. Soon the whole
mountain was beginning to shine with a glory that was blinding to the vultures
and demons that were left. Soon there was so much glory that the mountain began
to have the same feel as the Garden.
I started thanking and praising the Lord and immediately I was in His presence
again. It was hard to contain the emotions and glory that was flooding my
innermost being. The experience became so intense that I stopped. Wisdom was
standing beside me. Putting his hand on my shoulder he said, "You enter His
gates with thanksgiving, His courts with praise."
"But that was so real! I felt like I was there again," I exclaimed.
"You were there," replied Wisdom. "It has not gotten more real,
but you have. Just as the Lord told the thief on the cross, 'Today' you will be
with Me in Paradise, you can enter Paradise at anytime. The Lord, His Paradise,
and this mountain, are all abiding in you, because He is in you. What were but
foretastes before are now a reality to you because you have climbed the
mountain. The reason that you can see me and others cannot is not because you
have entered the one in which I dwell. This is the reality that the prophets
knew that gave them great boldness even when they stood alone against
armies."
The Deadly Trap
I then looked out over the carnage below, and the slowly retreating demonic
army. Behind me more of the glorious warriors were constantly taking their
places on the mountain. I knew there was now enough to attack and destroy what
was left of this enemy horde. "Not yet," said Wisdom. "Look over
there." I looked in the direction in which he was pointing, but had to
shield my eyes from the glory emanating from my own armor to see anything. Then
I caught a glimpse of movement in a valley.
I could not make out what I was seeing, because the glory being emitted from my
armor made it difficult to see into the darkness. I asked Wisdom to give me
something to cover my armor with so I could see it. He then gave me a very plain
mantel to put on. "What is this?" I inquired, a little insulted by its
drabness. "Humility," said Wisdom. "You will not be able to see
very well without it." Reluctantly I put it on and immediately I saw many
things that I could not see before. I looked toward the valley and the movement
I had seen. To my astonishment there was an entire division of the enemy horde
that was waiting to ambush anyone who ventures from the mountain.
"What army it that?" I asked, "and how did they escape the battle
intact?"
"That is Pride," explained Wisdom. "That in the hardest enemy to
see after you have been in the glory. Those who refuse to put on this cloak will
suffer much at the hands of this most devious enemy."
As I looked back at the mountain I saw many of the glorious warriors crossing
the plain to attack the remnants of the enemy horde. None of them were wearing
the cloaks of humility and they had not seen the enemy that was ready to attack
them from their rear. I started to run out to stop them, but Wisdom restrained
me. "You cannot stop this," he said. "Only the soldiers who wear
this cloak will recognize your authority. Come with me. There is something else
that you must see before you can help lead in the great battle that is to
come."
The Foundation of Glory
Wisdom led me down the mountain to the very lowest level, which was named
"Salvation." "You think that this is the lowest level,"
declared Wisdom, "but this is the foundation of the whole mountain. In any
journey, the first step is the most important, and it is usually the most
difficult. Without 'Salvation' there would be no mountain."
I was appalled by the carnage on this level. Every soldier was very badly
wounded, but none of them were dead. Multitudes were barely clinging to the
edge. Many seemed ready to fall off at any moment, but none did. Angels were
everywhere ministering to the soldiers with such great joy that I asked,
"Why are they so happy?"
"These angels have beheld the courage that it took for these to hold on.
They many not have gone any further, but neither did they give up. They will
soon be healed, and then they will behold the glory of the rest of the mountain,
and begin to climb. These will be great warriors for the battle to come."
"But wouldn't they have been better off to climb the mountain with the rest
of us?" I protested, seeing their present condition.
"It would have been better for them, but not for you. By staying here they
made it easier for you to climb by keeping most of the enemy occupied. Very few
from the higher levels ever reached out to help others come to the mountain, but
these did. Even when these were barely clinging to the mountain themselves, they
would reach out to pull others up. In fact, most of the mighty warriors were led
to the mountain by these faithful ones. These are no less heroes than those who
made it to the top. They brought great joy to heaven by continually leading
other to 'Salvation.' It was for this reason that all the angels in heaven
wanted to come to minister to them, but only the most honored were
permitted."
Again I felt a terrible shame at my attitude toward these great saints. Many of
us scorned them as we climbed to the higher levels. They had made many mistakes
during the battle, but they had also displayed more of the Shepherd's heart than
the rest of us. The Lord would leave the ninety-nine to go after the one who was
lost. These had stayed in the place where they could still reach the lost, and
they paid a dear price for it. I, too, wanted to help but did not know where to
start.
Wisdom then said, "It is right for you to want to help, but you will help
most by going on to what you have been called to do. These will all be healed
and will quickly climb the mountain. They will join you again in the battle.
These are fearless ones who will never retreat before the enemy."
The Power of Pride
I was thinking how descending the mountain was teaching me as much as climbing
it had, when noise from the battlefield drew my attention. By now there were
thousands of the mighty warriors who had crossed the plain to attack the remnant
of the enemy horde. The enemy was fleeing in all directions, except for the one
division, Pride. Completely undetected, it had marched right up to the rear of
the advancing warriors, and was about to release a hail of arrows. It was then
that I noticed the mighty warriors had not armor on their backsides-they were
totally exposed and vulnerable to what was about to hit them.
Wisdom then remarked, "You have taught that there was no armor for the
backside, which meant that you were vulnerable if you fan from the enemy.
However, you never saw how it made you vulnerable if you advanced in
pride."
I could only nod my acknowledgment. It was too late to do anything, and it was
unbearable to watch, but Wisdom said that I must. To my amazement, when the
arrows of pride struck the warriors they did not even notice. However, the enemy
kept shooting. The warriors were bleeding and getting weaker fast but would not
acknowledge it. Soon they were too weak to hold up their shields and swords, and
cast them down, declaring that they did not need them anymore. Then they started
taking off their armor, saying it was not needed anymore either.
Then another enemy division appeared and moved up swiftly. It was called Strong
Delusion. They released a hail of arrows that all hit their mark. I then watched
as just a few of the demons of delusion led off this once great army of glorious
warriors. They were taken to different prison camps, each named after a
different doctrine of demons. I was astounded at how this great company of the
righteous had been so utterly defeated, and they still did not even know what
had hit them. "How could those who were so strong, who have been all the
way to the top of the mountain, who have seen the Lord as they have, be so
vulnerable?" I blurted out.
"Pride is the hardest enemy to see, and it always sneaks up behind
you," Wisdom lamented. "In some ways, those who have been to the
greatest heights are in the greatest danger of falling. You must always remember
that in this life you can fall at any time from any level. 'Take heed when you
think you stand, lest you fall,' When you think you are the least vulnerable to
falling is in fact when you are the most vulnerable. Most men fall right after a
great victory."
Wisdom for the Battle
"How can we keep from being attacked like this?" I asked.
"Stay close to me, inquire of the Lord before making any major decisions,
and keep that mantle on, and the enemy will never be able to blindside you as he
did those."
I looked at my mantle. It looked so plain and insignificant. I felt that it made
me look more like a homeless person than a warrior. Wisdom responded as if I had
been speaking out loud, "The Lord is closer to the homeless than to
princes. You only have true strength to the degree that you walk in the grace of
God, and 'He gives His grace to the humble.' No enemy weapon can penetrate this
mantle, because nothing can overpower His grace. As long as you wear this mantle
you are safe from this kind of attack."
I then started to look up to see how many warriors were still on the mountain. I
was shocked to see how few there were. I then noticed that they all had on the
same mantle on humility. "How did that happen?" I inquired.
"When they saw the battle you just witnessed, they all came to me for help,
and I gave them their mantles," Wisdom replied.
"But I thought you were with me that whole time?"
"I am with all who go forth to do the will of the Father," Wisdom
answered.
"You're the Lord!" I cried
"Yes," He answered. "I told you that I would never leave you or
forsake you. I am with all of My warriors just as I am with you. I will be to
you whatever you need to accomplish My will, and you have needed wisdom."
Then He vanished.
Rank in the Kingdom
I was left standing in the midst of the great company of angels who were
ministering to the wounded on the level of "Salvation." As I began to
walk past these angels, they bowed to one knee and showed me the greatest
respect. I finally asked one of them why they did this, as even the smallest was
much more powerful than I was. "Because of the mantle," he replied.
"That is the highest rank in the kingdom."
"This is just a plain mantle," I protested.
"No!" the angel protested. "You are clothed in the grace of God.
There is no greater power than that!"
"But there are thousands of us all wearing the same mantle. How could it
represent rank?"
You are the dread champions, the sons and daughters of the King. He wore the
same mantle when He walked on this earth. As long as you are clothed in that
there is no power in heaven or earth that can stand before you. Everyone in
heaven and hell recognizes that mantle. We are His servants, but He abides in
you, and you are clothed in His grace."
Somehow I knew if I had not been wearing the mantle, and if my glorious armor
had been exposed, that the angel's statement, and their behavior toward me,
could have really fed my pride. It was simply impossible to feel prideful or
arrogant while wearing such a drab, plain, cloak. However, my confidence in the
mantle was growing fast.
The Return of the Eagles
Then on the horizon I saw a great white cloud approaching. Hope arose in me just
by seeing it. It actually filled the atmosphere with hope just as the sun rising
chases away the darkness of night. As it grew closer I recognized the great
white eagles that had flown from the Tree of Life. They began landing on the
mountain, taking their place on every level beside the companies of warriors.
I carefully and respectfully approached the eagle who had landed near me because
his presence was so awesome. when he looked at me with his penetrating eyes, I
knew I could hide nothing from him. His eyes were so fierce and resolute that I
trembled as chills ran through me just looking at them. Before I could even ask,
he answered me.
"You want to know who we are. We are the hidden prophets who have been kept
for this hour. We are the eyes of those who have been given the divinely
powerful weapons. We have been shown all that the Lord is doing, and all that
the enemy is planning against you. We have scoured the earth and together we
know all that needs to be known for the battle."
"Did you not see the battle that just took place?" I asked with as
much irritation as I dared to express. "Couldn't you have helped those
warriors that were just taken captive?"
"Yes. We saw it all, and we could have helped if they had wanted it. But
our help would have been to restrain them. We can only fight in the battles that
the Father commands, and we can only help those who believe in us. Only those
who receive us as who we are, the prophets, can receive the prophet's reward, or
the benefit of our service. Those who were ambushed did not yet have the mantle
that you are wearing, and those who do not have the mantle cannot understand who
we are. We all need each other, including these here who are still wounded, and
many others who you do not yet know."
The Heart of the Eagle
By talking to the eagle I started very quickly to think like the eagle. After
this short discussion I could see into the eagle's heart and know him like he
knew me. The eagle recognized this.
"You have some of our gifts," the eagle noted, "though they are
not very well developed. You have not used them much. I am here to awaken these
gifts in many of you, and to teach you to use them. In this way our
communication will be sure. It must be sure or we will all suffer many
unnecessary losses, not to mention missing many great opportunities for
victory."
"Where did you just come from?" I asked.
"We eat snakes," the eagle replied. "The enemy is bread for us.
Our sustenance comes from doing the Father's will, which is to destroy the works
of the devil. Every snake that we eat helps to increase our vision. Every
stronghold of the enemy that we tear down, strengthens us so we can soar higher
and stay in the air longer. We have just come from a feast, devouring the
serpents of shame who have bound many of your brothers and sisters. They will be
here soon. They are coming with the eagles we left behind to help them find the
way, and to protect them from the enemy's counterattacks."
These eagles were very sure of themselves, but not cocky. They knew who they
were, what they were called to do. They also knew us and they knew the future.
Their confidence was reassuring to me, but even more so to the wounded that were
still lying all around us. Those who had recently been too weak to talk were
actually sitting us listening to my conversation with the eagle. They looked at
him like a lost child would look to his parent who had just found him.
The Wind of the Spirit
When the eagle looked upon the wounded his countenance changed as well. In place
of the fierce resolution I had stood before, toward the wounded he was like a
soft, compassionate old grandfather. The eagle opened his wings and began to
gently flap them, stirring up a cool refreshing breeze that flowed over the
wounded. It was not like any other breeze I had ever felt before. With each
breath I felt I was gaining strength and clarity of mind. Soon the wounded were
standing and worshiping God with a sincerity that brought tears to my eyes.
Again I felt a profound shame at having scorned those who stayed on this level.
They had seemed so weak and foolish to those of us who were ascending the
mountain, but they had endured much more than we had and remained faithful. God
had kept them and they loved Him with a great love.
I looked up at the mountain; all of the eagles were gently flapping their wings.
Everyone on the mountain was being refreshed by the breeze they were stirring
up, and everyone on the mountain was beginning to worship the Lord. At first
there was some discord between the worship that was coming from the different
levels, but after a time everyone on every level was singing in perfect harmony.
Never on earth had I heard anything that beautiful. I never wanted it to end.
Soon I recognized it as the same worship that we had known in the Garden, but
now it sounded even more full and rich. I knew that it was because we were
worshiping in the very presence of our enemies, in the midst of such darkness
and evil that surrounded the mountain, that it seemed so much more beautiful.
I do not know whether this worship lasted hours, days, or minutes, but
eventually the eagles stopped flapping their wings and it stopped. "Why did
you stop?" I asked the eagle that I had been talking to.
"Because they are now whole," he replied, indicating the wounded who
were now all standing and appeared to be in perfect condition. "True
worship can heal any wound," he added.
"Please do it again," I begged.
"We will do this many times, but it is not for us to decide when. The
breeze that you felt was the Holy Spirit. He directs us; we do not direct Him.
He has healed the wounded and begun to bring about the unity that is required
for the battles ahead. True worship also pours the precious oil upon the Head,
Jesus, which then flows down over the entire body, making us one with Him and
each other. No one who becomes one with Him will remain wounded or unclean. His
blood is pure life, and it flows when we are joined to Him. When we are joined
to Him we are also joined to the rest of the body, so that His blood flows
through all. Is that not how you heal a wound to your body, by closing the wound
so that the blood can flow to the wounded member to bring regeneration? When a
part of His body is wounded, we must join in unity with that part until it is
fully restored. We are all one in Him."
The euphoria from the worship was still prevailing so that this little teaching
seemed to be the most profound that I had ever heard, even though I had know it
and taught it myself before. When the Holy Spirit moved every word seemed
glorious, regardless of how elementary it was. It also filled me with so much
love that I wanted to hug everyone, including the fierce old eagles. Then, like
a jolt, I remembered the mighty warriors who had just been captured. The eagle
sensed this but did not say anything. He just watched me intently. Finally, I
spoke up; "Can we recover those who were just lost?"
The Wounded Heart of the King
"Yes, it is right for you to feel what you do," the eagle finally
said. "We are not complete, and our worship is not complete, until the
whole body is restored. Even in the most glorious worship, even in the very
presence of the King, we will all feel this emptiness until all are one, because
our King also feels it. We all grieve for our brothers in bondage, but we grieve
even more for the heart of our King. Just as you love all of your children, but
would be grieved for the one that was sick or wounded, He too loves all of His
children, but the wounded and oppressed have most of His attention now. For His
sake we must not quit until all have been recovered. As long as any are wounded,
He is wounded."
Faith That Moves Mountains
Sitting down by the eagle, I thought deeply about what he said. Finally I asked,
"I know that Wisdom now speaks to me through you, because I hear His voice
when you speak. I was so sure of myself before that last battle, but I was
almost carried away with the same presumption that they were carried away with,
and could very easily have been captured with them if Wisdom had not stopped me.
I was going out of hatred for the enemy more than wanting to set my brothers
free, though that was part of my motive. Since first coming to this mountain,
and fighting in the great battle, I now think that most of the right things I
did, I did for the wrong reasons, and many of the wrong things I did, I had good
motives for. The more I learn, the more unsure of myself I feel."
"You must have been with Wisdom a long time," the eagle responded.
"He was with me a long time before I began to recognize Him, but I am
afraid that most of that time I was resisting Him. Somehow I now know that I am
still lacking something very important, something that I must have before I go
into battle again, but I do not know what it is."
The great eagle's eyes became more penetrating than I had ever seen them as he
responded, "You also know the voice of Wisdom when He speaks to you in your
own heart. You are learning well because you have the mantle. What you are
feeling now is the true faith."
"Faith!" I shot back. "I'm talking about serious doubts."
"You are wise to doubt yourself. But true faith depends on God, not
yourself, and not your faith. You are close to the kind of faith that can move
this mountain, and move it must. It is time to carry it to places that it has
not gone to before. However, you are right. You are still lacking something very
important. You must yet have a great revelation of the King. Even though you
have climbed to the top of the mountain, and received from every truth along the
way, and even though you have stood in the Garden of God, tasted of His
unconditional love, and have seen His Son many times now, you still only
understand a part of the whole counsel of God, and that only
superficially."
I knew that this was so true that it was very comforting to hear it. "I
have judged so many people and so many situations wrongly. Wisdom has saved my
life many times now, but the voice of Wisdom is still a very small voice within
me, and the clamor of my own thoughts and feelings are still far too loud. I
hear wisdom speaking through you much louder than I hear Him in my own heart, so
I know I must stay very close to you."
"We are here because you need us," the eagle replied. "We are
also here because we need you. You have been given gifts that I do not have, and
I have been given gifts that you do not have. You have experienced things that I
have not experienced, and I have experienced things that you have not known. The
eagles have been given to you until the end, and you have been given to us. I
will be very close to you for a time, and then you must receive other eagles in
my place. Every eagle is different. It is together that we have been given to
know the secrets of the Lord, not individually."
The Doors of Truth
The eagle then lifted up from the rock on which he had been perched, and soared
over the edge of the level on which we stood. "Come," he said. As I
approached him I saw steps that led down to the very base of the mountain. There
was a small door.
"Why have I not seen this before?" I asked.
"When you first came to the mountain you did not stay on this level long
enough to look around," he answered.
"How did you know that? Were you here when I first came to the
mountain?"
"I would have known if I had not been here, because all who miss this door
do so for the same reason, but in fact I was here," he responded. "I
was one of the soldiers you so quickly passed on your way up the mountain."
It was then that I recognized the eagle as a man whom I had met soon after my
conversion, whom I had actually had a few conversations with. He continued,
"I wanted badly to follow you then. I had been on this level for so long
that I needed a change. I just could not leave all of the lost souls that I was
still trying to lead here. When I finally committed myself to doing the Lord's
will, whether it was to stay or go, Wisdom appeared to me and showed me this
door. He said it was a shortcut to the top. That is how I got to the top before
you did, and was changed into an eagle."
I then remembered that I had seen doors like this on a couple of the levels, I
had even peeked into a couple of them and remember how amazed I had been at what
I saw. I did not venture into any of them very far, because I was so focused on
the battle and trying to get to the top of the mountain. "Could I have
entered any of those doors and gone right to the top?" I asked.
"It is not quite that easy," the eagle remarked, seeming a little
irritated. "In every door there are passage ways, one of which leads to the
top." Obviously know my next question, he continued. "The other ones
lead to the other levels on the mountain. The Father designed each so that
everyone would choose the one that their level of maturity dictated that they
needed."
"Incredible! How did He do that?" I thought to myself, but the eagle
heard my thoughts.
"It was very simple," continued the eagle as if I had spoken my
thoughts out loud. "Spiritual maturity is always determined by the
willingness of one to sacrifice their own desires for the interests of the
kingdom or for the sake of others."
I was carefully noting all that was said. I somehow knew that I must enter the
door before me, and that it would be wise for me to learn all that I could from
someone who had been there before and had obviously chosen the right door to the
top.
"I did not go directly to the top, and neither have I met anyone who
has," the eagle continued. "But I went there much faster than most
because I had learned so much about self-sacrifice while fighting here on the
level of 'Salvation.' I have shown you this door because you wear the mantle and
would have found it anyway, but the time is short and I am here to help you
mature quickly. There are doors on every level, and every one leads to treasures
that are beyond your comprehension. They cannot be acquired physically, but
every treasure that you hold in your hands you will be able to carry on in your
heart. Your heart is meant to be the treasure house of God. But the time you
reach the top again, your heart will contain treasures more valuable than all of
the treasures of the whole earth. They will never be taken from you, but they
are yours for eternity, because you are God's. Go quickly. The storm clouds are
now gathering, and the great battle is near."
"Will you go with me?" I pleaded.
"No," he responded. "This is where I now belong. I have much to
do to help these who were wounded. But I will see you here again. You will meet
many of my brother and sister eagles before you return, and they will be able to
help you better than I at the place where you meet them."
The Treasures of Heaven
I already loved that eagle so much that I could hardly stand to leave him. I was
glad to know I would see him again. Now the door was drawing me like a magnet. I
opened it and entered. The glory that I beheld was so stunning that I
immediately fell to my knees. The gold, silver and precious stones were far more
beautiful than anything I had ever seen on the earth. The room was so large that
it seemed to be without end. The floor was silver, the pillars gold, and the
ceiling was pure diamond that emitted every color I had ever known and many that
I had not known. Angels without number were everywhere, dressed indifferent
robes and uniforms that were of no earthly origin.
As I began to walk through the room, the angels all bowed in salute. One stepped
forward and welcomed me by name. He explained that I could go anywhere and see
anything that I wanted in the room. Nothing was withheld from those who came
through the door.
I could not even speak I was so overwhelmed by the beauty. I finally remarked
that this was even more beautiful than the Garden had been. Surprised, the angel
responded, "This is the Garden! This is one of the rooms in your Father's
house. We are your servants."
As I walked, a great company of angels followed me. I turned and asked the
leader why they were following. "Because of the mantle," he said.
"We have been given to you, to serve you here and in the battle to
come."
I did not know what to do with the angels so I just continued walking. I was
attracted to a large blue stone that appeared to have the sun and clouds within
it. When I touched it the same feeling flooded over me as when I ate the fruit
of the Tree of Life. I felt energy, great mental clarity, and love for everyone
and everything being magnified. I started to behold the glory of the Lord. The
longer I touched the stone the more the glory increased. I never wanted to take
my hand off of the stone, but the glory became so intense that I had to look
away.
Then my eyes fell on a beautiful green stone. "What does that one have in
it?" I asked the angel standing nearby.
"All of these stones are the treasures of salvation. You are now touching
the heavenly realm, and that one is the restoration of life," he continued.
As I touched the green stone I began to see the earth in rich and spectacular
colors. They grew in richness the longer I had my hand on the stone, and my love
for all that I saw grew. Then I began to see a harmony between all living things
on a level that I had never seen before. Then I began to see the glory of the
lord in the creation. It began to grow until again I had to turn away because of
the intensity.
Then I realized that I had no idea how long I had been there. I did know that my
comprehension of God and His universe had grown substantially by just touching
these two stones, and there were many, many more. There was more in that one
room than a person could have absorbed in a whole lifetime. "How many more
rooms are there?" I asked the angel.
"There are rooms like this on every level of the mountain that you
climbed."
"How can one ever experience all that is in just one of these rooms, much
less all of them?" I asked.
"You have forever to do this. The treasures contained in the most basic
truths of the Lord Jesus are enough to last for many of your present lifetimes.
No man can know all that there is to know about any of them in just one life,
but you must take what you need and keep proceeding toward your destiny."
I started thinking about the impending battle again, and the warriors who had
been captured. It was not a pleasant thought is such a glorious place, but I
knew I would have forever to come back to this room, and only had a short time
to find my way back to the top of the mountain, and then back to the battle from
again.
I turned to the angel. "You must help me find the door that leads to the
top."
The angel looked perplexed, "we are your servants," he responded,
"but you must lead us. This whole mountain is a mystery to us. We all
desired to look into this great mystery, but after we leave this room that we
have come to know just a little about, we will be learning even more than
you."
"Do you know where all of the doors are?" I asked.
"Yes, But we do not know where they lead. There are some that look very
inviting, and some that are plain, and some that are actually repulsive. One is
even terrible."
"In this place there are doors that are repulsive?" I asked in
disbelief. "And one that is terrible ? How can that be?"
"We do not know, but I can show it to you," he responded.
"Please do," I said.
We walked for quite a time, passing treasures unspeakable, all of which I had
great difficulty not stopping to touch. There were also many doors, with
different biblical truths over each one. When the angel had call them
"inviting" I felt that he had quite understated their appeal. I badly
wanted to go through each one, but my curiosity about the "terrible
door" kept me moving. Then I saw it. "Terrible" had also been an
understatement. Fear gripped me so that it took my breath away.
Grace and Truth
I turned away from the door and retreated fast. There was a beautiful red stone
nearby, which I almost lunged at to lay my hands on it. Immediately I was in the
Garden of Gethsemane beholding the Lord in prayer. The agony I beheld was even
more terrible than the door I had just seen. Shocked, I jerked my hand away from
the stone and fell to the floor in exhaustion. I badly wanted to return to the
blue or green stones, but I had to re-gather my energy and sense of direction.
The angels were quickly all around me serving me. I was given a drink that began
to revive me. Soon I was feeling well enough to stand and begin walking back to
the other stones. However, the recurring vision of the Lord praying compelled me
to stop.
"What was that back there?" I asked.
"When you touch the stones we are able to see a little of what you see, and
feel a little of what you feel," said the angel. "We know that all of
these stones are great treasures, and all of the revelations they contain are
priceless. We beheld for a moment the agony of the Lord before His crucifixion,
and we felt briefly what He felt that terrible night. It is hard for us to
understand how are God could ever suffer like that. It makes us appreciate much
more what an honor it is to serve you whom He did it for."
The angels' words were like lightning bolts straight to my soul. I had fought in
the great battle. I had climbed to the top of the mountain. I had become so
familiar with the spiritual realm that I hardly noticed angels any more, and I
could speak on nearly equal terms with the great eagles, yet I could not bear to
share in even a moment of the sufferings of My King without wanting to flee to a
more pleasurable experience. "I should not be here," I almost shouted.
"I, more than anyone, deserve to be a prisoner of the evil one!"
"Sir," the angel said almost shyly. "We understand that no one is
here because they deserve it. You are here because you were chosen before the
foundation of the world for a purpose. We do not know what your purpose is, but
we know that it is very great for everyone on this mountain."
"Thank you. You are most helpful. My emotions are being greatly stretched
by this place, and they have tended to overcome my understanding. You are right.
No one is here because they are worthy. Truly, the higher we climb on this
mountain, the more unworthy we are to be there, and the more grace we need to
stay there. How did I ever make it to the top the first time?"
"Grace," my angel responded.
"If you want to help me," I then said, "please keep repeating
that word to me when ever you see me in confusion or despair. That word I am
coming to understand better than any other, and it always brings great
illumination to my soul."
"Now I must go back to the red stone. I know now that is the greatest
treasure in this room, and I must not leave until I am carrying that treasure in
my heart," I said with more resolution in my words than I felt in my heart
at that time, but I nevertheless knew that it was true."
The Truth of Grace
The time that I spent at the red stone was the most painful that I have ever
experienced. Many times I simply could not take any more but had to withdraw my
hand. Several times I went back to the blue or green stones to rejuvenate my
soul before I returned. I was extremely hard to return to the red stone each
time, but my love and appreciation for the Lord was growing through this more
than anything I had ever learned or experienced.
Finally, when the presence of the Father departed from Jesus on the cross, I
could not stand it anymore. I quit. I could tell that the angels, who were also
experiencing what I was, were in full agreement. The willpower to touch the
stone again simply was not in my anymore. I did not even feel like going back to
the blue stone. I just laid on the floor weeping over what the Lord had gone
through. I also wept because I knew that I had deserted Him just like His
disciples. I failed Him when He needed me the most, just like they did.
After what seemed like several days, I opened my eyes. Another eagle was
standing beside me. In front of him were three stones, one blue, one green, and
one red. "Eat them," he said. When I did, my whole being was renewed,
and both a great joy and great soberness flooded my soul.
When I stood up, I caught sight of the same three stones set into the handle of
my sword, and then on each of my shoulders. "These are now yours
forever," the eagle said. "They cannot be taken from you, and you
cannot lose them."
"But I did not finish this last one," I protested.
"Christ alone will ever finish that test," he replied. "You have
done well, but you must no on now."
"Where to?" I asked.
"You must decide, but with time getting shorter I will suggest that you try
to get to the top soon," the eagle replied as he departed in an obvious
hurry.
Then I remembered the doors. I immediately started toward the doors that had
been so appealing. When I reached the first one it simply did not appeal to me
anymore. Then I went to another, and it felt the same. "Something seems to
have changed," I remarked out loud.
"You have changed," the entire troop of angels replied at once. I
turned to look at them and was amazed at how much they had changed. They no
longer had the naive look they had before, but were now more regal and
wise-looking than any of the angels I had seen. I knew they reflected what had
also taken place in me, but I now felt uncomfortable just thinking about myself.
"I ask for your counsel," I said to the leader.
"Listen to your heart," he said. "That is where these great
truths now abide."
"I have never been able to trust my own heart," I responded. "It
is subject to so many delusions, deceptions, and selfish ambitions, that it is
hard to even hear the Lord speaking tome above the clamor of it."
"Sir, with the red stone now in your heart, I do not believe that will
continue to be the case," the leader offered with uncharacteristic
confidence. I leaned against the wall, thinking that the eagle was not here when
I needed him the most. He had been this way before and would know which door to
choose. As I pondered, the "terrible door" was the only one that I
could think of. Out of curiosity I decided to go back and look at it. I had
departed from it so fast the first time that I had not even noticed which truth
it represented.
As I approached it I could feel the fear welling up inside of me, but not nearly
as bad as the first time. In great contrast to the others, it was very dark
around this door, and I had to get very close to read the truth over it. Mildly
surprised, I read THE JUDGMENT SEAT OF CHRIST. "Why is this truth so
fearful?" I asked aloud, knowing that the angels would not answer me. As I
looked at it I knew that it was the one I should go through.
"There are many reasons that it is fearful," the familiar voice of the
eagle responded.
"I'm glad you came back," I replied. "Have I made a bad
choice?"
"No! You have chosen well. This door will take you back to the top of the
mountain faster than any other. It is fearful because the greatest fear in the
creation has its source through that door-the holy fear of God. The greatest
wisdom that men can know in this life, or in the life to come, are found through
those doors, but very few will go through them."
But why is this door so dark?" I asked.
"The light of these doors reflect the attention that the church is
presently giving to the truths behind them. The truth behind that door is one of
the most neglected of these times, but it is one of the most important. You will
understand when you enter. The greatest authority that men can receive will only
be entrusted to those who will go through this door. When you see Christ Jesus
sitting on this throne, you too will be prepared to sit with Him on it."
"Then this door would not be so dark and forbidding if we had just given
more attention to this truth?"
"That is correct. If men knew the glory that is revealed behind that door,
it would be one of the most brilliant," the eagle lamented. "However,
it is still a difficult door to pass through. I was told to return and encourage
you because you will soon need it. You will see a greater glory, but also a
greater terror than you have ever known. But know that because you have chosen
the difficult way now, it will be much easier for you later. Because you are
willing to face this hard truth now, you will not suffer loss later. Many love
to know His kindness, but very few are willing to know His severity. If you do
not know both you will always be in danger of deception and a fall from His
great grace."
"I know that I could never come here if I had not spent the time that I did
at the red stone. How could I deep trying to take the easy way when that is so
contrary to the nature of the Lord?"
"But now you have chosen, so go quickly. Another great battle is about to
begin, and you are needed at the front."
The Judgment Seat of Christ
I gazed one final time around the huge room inside of the mountain. The
treasures of the truth of Salvation were kept here. It seemed that there was no
end to their expanse or beauty. I could not imagine that the rooms which
contained the other great truths of the faith could be any more glorious. This
helped me to understand why so many Christian never wanted to leave this place.
The large gems which represented the different aspects of Salvation all exuded a
glory far beyond any earthly beauty. It was wonderful beyond description, and I
knew that I could stay here for eternity and never get bored.
The eagle who was standing next to me almost shouted: "You must go
on!" Then more calmly he continued, "There is no greater peace and
safety than to abide in the Lord's salvation. You were brought here to know this
because you will need it where you are now going. But you must not stay here any
longer."
The eagle's statement about the peace and safety touched something in me. I
thought about the courageous warriors who had fought in the battle from the
first level of the mountain, "Salvation." The had fought so well and
delivered so many, but they had also all been badly wounded. Then the eagle
again interrupted my thoughts as if he were listening to them.
"God has a different definition of peace and safety than we do. To be
wounded in the fight is a great honor. That is why the apostle Paul boasted of
his beatings and stonings. There is no courage unless there is real danger. The
Lord said He would go with Joshua to fight for the Promised Land, but over and
over exhorted him to be strong and courageous because he was going to have to
fight, and there would be dangers. It is in this way the Lord proves those who
are worthy of the Promises-they love God and His provision more than their own
security. Courage is a demonstration of true faith. The Lord never promised that
His way would be easy, but it would be worth it. The courage of those who fought
from the level of Salvation moved the angels of heaven to esteem what God has
wrought in the fallen race of men. They took their wounds in the terrible
onslaught, but they did not quit, and they did not retreat. Even so, by climbing
the mountain you were able to fight with an authority that ultimately freed even
more souls. Many more souls will fill these rooms, to the great joy of heaven,
if you go on."
I then turned and looked at the dark and forbidding door over which was written:
The Judgment Seat of Christ. Just as warmth and peace had flooded my soul each
time I looked at this door. Everything in me wanted to stay in this room, and
nothing in me wanted to go through that door. Again the eagle answered my
thoughts.
"Before you enter the door to any great truth you will have these same
feelings. You even felt that way when you entered into this room to the
treasures of salvation. These fears are the result of the fall. They are the
fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The knowledge from that
tree made us all insecure and self-centered. The knowledge of good and evil
makes the true knowledge of God seem fearful, when in fact every truth from
above leads to an even greater peace and security. Even the judgments of God are
to be desired, because all of His ways are perfect."
By now I had experienced enough to know that what seems right is often the least
fruitful path, and sometimes the road to tragedy. Throughout my journey, the
path on which it seemed that the most was risked was the path that lead to the
greatest reward. Even so, each time it seemed that more was being risked. To
make the choice to go on therefore got harder each time.
"It takes more faith to walk in the higher realms of the Spirit," the
eagle stated, seeming a little more irritated. "The Lord gave us a map to
His kingdom when He said, 'If you seek to save your life you will lose it, but
if you will lose your life for My sake you will find it.' Those words alone can
keep you on the path to the top of the mountain, and will lead you to victory in
the great battle ahead. They will also help you to stand before the Judgment
Seat of Christ," he added, looking toward the door.
I knew I had to go. I knew that I should remember this glorious room and the
treasures of salvation, but I also knew that I should not look back to them
again. I had to go on. I turned and with all of the courage I could muster,
opened the door to the Judgment Seat of Christ and stepped through it. The troop
of angels that had been assigned to me took positions all around the door, but
did not enter.
"What's the matter? Aren't you coming?" I demanded, badly wanting the
security of their company.
"Where you are going now you must go alone. We will be waiting for you one
the other side."
Without responding, I turned and started walking before I could change my mind.
It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I was in the most frightening darkness
I had ever experienced. The most terrible fears rose up within me. Soon I began
to think that I had stepped into hell itself. I thought about retreating, but
when I looked back I could see nothing. The door was closed and I could not even
see where it was located. Resolving that I now had to go on, I moved slowly,
praying for the Lord to help me. As I did, peace began to grow in my heart.
I then noticed that the dark was no longer cold, but began to feel comfortable.
Then I started to behold a dim light. Gradually it became a glorious light so
wonderful that I felt that I was entering into heaven itself. Now the glory
increased with every step. I wondered how anything this wonderful could have an
entrance so dark and forbidding. I wanted to savor every step before taking
another.
Soon the path opened into a hall so large that I felt that the earth itself
could not contain it. The beauty of it could not even be imagined by human
architects. I had never experienced anything like what filled my soul as I
beheld this room. At the far end was the Source of the glory that emanated from
everything else in the room. I knew that it was the Lord, and I was a little bit
afraid as I began to walk toward Him. I did not even think about how great the
distance was. It was all so wonderful that I felt that I could walk forever and
enjoy every step. In earthly terms, that somehow did not relate here, it would
have taken me many days to reach the throne.
My eyes were so fixed on the glory of the Lord that I had walked a long time
before I noticed that I was passing multitudes of people who were standing in
ranks to my left (There were just as many to my right but they were so far away
that I did not notice them until I reached the throne). As I looked at them I
had to stop. They were dazzling, more regal than anyone I had ever seen. Their
countenance was captivating. Never had such peace and confidence graced a human
face. Each one was beautiful beyond any earthly comparison. As I turned toward
those who were close to me they bowed in a greeting as if they knew me.
"How is it that you know me?" I asked, surprised at my own boldness to
ask such a question of them.
"You are one of the saints who is fighting in the last battle," a man
close by responded. "Everyone here knows you, and all of those who are now
fighting on the earth. We are the saints who have served the Lord in the
generations before you. We are the great cloud of witnesses who have been given
the right to behold the last battle. We know all of you, and we see all that you
do."
I then noticed someone I had known on earth. He had been a faithful believer,
but I did not think he had done anything of significance. He was so physically
unattractive on earth that it had made him shy. Here he had the same features,
but was somehow more handsome than any person I had known on earth. He stepped
up to me with an assurance and dignity that I had never seen in him, or anyone,
before.
"Heaven is much greater than we could have dreamed while on earth," he
began. "This room is but the threshold of realms of glory that are far
beyond the ability we had to comprehend. It is also true that the second death
is much more terrible than we understood. Neither heaven or hell are like we
thought they were. If I had known on earth what I know here I would not have
lived the way that I did. You are blessed with a great grace to have come here
before you have died." he said while looking at my garments.
I then looked at myself. I still had the old mantle of humility on, with the
armor under it. I felt both foul and crude standing before those who were so
regal and beautiful. I began to think that I was in serious trouble if I was
going to appear before the Lord like this. Like the eagles, my old acquaintance
could understand my thoughts, and he replied to them:
"Those who come here wearing that mantle have nothing to fear. That mantle
is the highest rank of honor, and it is why they all bowed to you while you
passed."
"I did not notice anyone bowing to me," I replied, a bit disconcerted.
"It is not improper," he continued. "Here we show each other the
respect that is due. Even the angles serve us here, but only our God and His
Christ are worshiped."
I was still ashamed. I had to retrain myself to keep from bowing to these
glorious ones, while at the same time wanting to hide myself because I looked so
bad. Then I began lamenting the fact that my thoughts here were just as foolish
here as they were one earth, and here everyone knew them! I felt both stained
and stupid standing before these who were so awesome and pure. Again my old
acquaintance responded to these thoughts.
"We have our incorruptible bodies now, and you do not. Our minds are no
longer hindered by sin. We are therefore able to comprehend many times what even
the greatest earthly mind can fathom, and we will spend eternity growing in our
ability to understand. This is so that we can know the Father, and understand
the glory of His creation. On earth you cannot even begin to understand what the
least of these here know, and we are the least of those here."
"How could you be the least?" I asked with disbelief.
"There is an aristocracy here. The rewards for our earthly lives are the
eternal positions that we have here. This great multitude here are those whom
the Lord called 'foolish virgins.' We knew the Lord, and trusted in His cross
for deliverance from damnation, but we did not really live for Him, but for
ourselves. We did not keep our vessels filled with the oil of the Holy Spirit.
We have eternal life, but we wasted our lives on earth."
I was really surprised by this, but I also knew that no one could lie in that
place.
"The foolish virgins gnashed their teeth in the outer darkness," I
protested.
"And that we did. The grief that we experienced when we understood how we
had so wasted our lives was beyond any grief possible on earth. The darkness of
that grief can only be understood by those who have experienced it. Such
darkness is magnified when it is revealed next to the glory of the One we
failed. You are standing now among the lowest rank in heaven. There is no
greater fools than the ones who know the great salvation of God, but then go on
living for themselves. To come here and learn the reality of that folly is a
grief beyond what an earthly soul can experience. We are those who suffered this
outer darkness because of this greatest of follies."
I was still incredulous. "But you are more glorious and full of more joy
and peace than I even imagined, even for those in heaven. I do not feel any
remorse in you, and yet I know that here you cannot lie. This does not make
sense to me."
Looking me straight in the eyes, he continued, "The Lord also loves us with
a love greater than you can yet understand. Before His judgment seat I tasted
the greatest darkness of soul and remorse that can be experienced. Though here
we do not measure time as you do, it seemed to last for as long as my life on
earth had lasted. All of my sins and follies which I had not repented of passed
before me, and before all who are here. The grief of this you cannot understand
until you have experienced it. I felt that I was in the deepest dungeon of hell,
even as I stood before the Lord. He was resolute until my life had been
completely reviewed. When I said I was sorry and asked for the mercy of His
cross, He wiped away my tears and took away the great darkness. He looked at me
with a love that was beyond anything that you can now understand. He gave me
this robe. I no longer feel the darkness or bitterness that I knew as I stood
before Him, but I remember it. Only here can you remember such things without
continuing to feel the pain. A moment in the lowest part of heaven is much
greater than a thousand years of the highest life on earth. Now my mourning at
my folly has been turned into joy, and I know that I will know joy forever, even
if I am in the lowest place in heaven."
I began to think again of the treasures of salvation. Somehow I knew that all
that this man had told me was revealed by those treasures. Every step I had
taken up the mountain, or into it, had revealed that His ways are both more
fearful and more wonderful than I had known before.
Looking at me intently, my former acquaintance continued. "You are not here
to understand, but to experience. The next level of rank here is many times
greater than what we have. Each level after is that much greater than the
previous one. It is not just that each level has an even more glorious spiritual
body, but that each level is closer to the throne where all of the glory comes
from. Even so, I no longer feel the grief of my failure. I really deserve
nothing. I am here by grace alone, and I am so thankful for what I have. He is
so worthy to be loved. I could be doing many wondrous things now in the
different realms of heaven, but I would rather stay here and just behold the
glory, even if I am on the outer fringes."
Then, with a distant look in his eyes, he added, "Everyone in heaven is now
in this room to watch His great mystery unfold, and to watch those of you who
will fight the last battle."
"Can you see Him from here?" I asked. "I see His glory far away,
but I cannot see Him."
"I can see many times better than you can," he answered. "And
yes, I can see Him, and all that He is doing, even from here. I can also hear
Him. I can also behold the earth. He gave us all that power. We are the great
cloud of witnesses who are beholding you."
He departed back into the ranks and I began walking again, trying to understand
all that he had said to me. As I looked over the great host that he had said
were the foolish virgins, the ones who had spiritually slept away their life on
earth, I knew that if any one of them appeared on earth now that they would be
worshiped as gods, and yet they were the very least of those who were here!
I then began to think of all of the time that I had wasted in my life. It was
such an overwhelming thought that I stopped. Then parts of my life began to pass
before me. I began to experience a terrible grief over this one sin. I too had
been one of the greatest of fools! I may have kept more oil in my lamp than
others, but now I knew how foolish I had been to measure what was required of me
by how others were doing. I, too, was one of the foolish virgins!
Just when I thought I would collapse under the weight of this terrible
discovery, a man who I had known and esteemed as one of the great men of God I
had known, came forward to steady me. Somehow his touch revived me. He then
greeted me warmly. He was a man that I had wanted to be discipled by. I had met
him, but we did not get along well. Like a number of others I had tried to get
close enough to learn from, I was an irritation to him and he finally asked me
to leave. For years I had felt guilty about this, feeling that I had missed a
great opportunity because of some flaw in my character. Even though I had put it
out of my mind, I still carried the weight of this failure. When I saw him it
all surfaced, and a sick feeling came over me. Now he was so regal that I felt
even more repulsive and embarrassed by my poor state. I wanted to hide but there
was not way I could avoid him here. To my surprise, his warmth toward me was so
genuine that he quickly put me at ease. There did not seem to be any barriers
between us. In fact, the love I felt coming from him almost completely took away
my self-consciousness.
"I have waited eagerly for this meeting," he said.
"You were waiting for me?" I asked. "Why?"
"You are just one of many that I am waiting for. I did not understand until
my judgment that you were one that I was called to help, to even disciple, but I
rejected you."
"Sir," I protested. "It would have been a great honor to be
discipled by you, and I am very thankful for the time that I did have with you,
but I was so arrogant I deserved your rejection. I know that my rebellion and
pride has kept me from ever having a real spiritual father. This was not your
fault, but mine."
"It is true that you were prideful, but that is not why I was offended with
you. I was offended because of my insecurity, which made me want to control
everyone around me. I was offended that you would not accept everything that I
said without questioning it. I then started to look for anything that was wrong
with you to justify my rejection. I began to feel that if I could not control
you that you would one day embarrass me and my ministry. I esteemed my ministry
more than I did the people for whom it was given to me, so I drove many like you
away," he said.
With a genuineness that is unknown in the realms of earth, he continued,
"All children are rebellious, and think that the world revolves around
them. That is why they need parents to raise them. Almost every child will at
times bring reproach on his family, but he is still a part of the family. I
turned away many of God's own children that he had entrusted to me for getting
them safely to maturity. I failed with most of them. Most of them suffered
terrible wounds and failures that I could have helped them to avoid. Many of
them are now prisoners of the enemy. I built a large organization, and had
considerable influence in the church, but the greatest gifts that the Lord
trusted to me were the ones who were sent to me for discipline, many of whom I
rejected. Had I not been so self-centered and concerned with my own reputation I
would be a king here. I was called to one of the highest thrones. All that you
have and will accomplish would have been in my heavenly account as well.
Instead, much of what I gave my attention to was of very little true eternal
significance. What looks good on earth looks very different here. What will make
you a king on earth will often be a stumbling block to keep you from being a
king here. What will make you a king here is lowly and unesteemed on earth. Will
you forgive me?"
"Of course," I said, quite embarrassed. "But I, too, am in need
of your forgiveness. I still think that it was my awkwardness and rebellion that
made if difficult for you."
"It is true that you were not perfect, and I discerned some of your
problems rightly, but that is never cause for rejection," he replied.
"The Lord did not reject the world when I saw its failures. He did not
reject me when He saw my sin. He laid down His life for us. It is always the
greater who must lay down his life for the lessor. I was more mature. I had more
authority than you, but I became like one of the goats in the parable; I
rejected the Lord by rejecting you and the others that He sent to me."
As he talked, his words were striking me deeply. I, too, was guilty of
everything that he was relenting of. Many young men and women who I had brushed
off as not being important enough for my time were now passing through my mind.
How desperately I wanted to return now and gather them together! This grief that
I began to feel was even worse than I had felt about wasting time. I had wasted
people! Now many of these were prisoners of the enemy, wounded and captured
during the battle on the mountain. This whole battle was for people, and yet
people were often regarded as the least important. We will fight for truths more
than for the people for whom they are given. We will fight for ministries while
running roughshod over the people in them. "And many people think of me as
a spiritual leader! I am truly the least of the saints," I thought to
myself.
"I understand how you feel," remarked another man I recognized as one
I considered one of the greatest Christian leaders of all time. "Paul the
apostle said near the end of his life that he was the least of the saints. Then
just before his death he even called himself 'the greatest of sinners.' Had he
not learned that in his life on earth he, too, would have been in jeopardy of
being one of the least of the saints in heaven. Because he learned it on earth
he is now one of those closest to the Lord, and will be one of the highest in
rank for all of eternity."
Seeing this man in the company of "The foolish virgins" was the
greatest surprise I had yet. "I cannot believe that you, too, are one of
the foolish who slept away their lives on earth. Why are you here?"
"I am here because I made one of the most grave mistakes you can make as
one entrusted with the glorious gospel of our Savior. Just as the apostle Paul
progressed from not considering himself inferior to the greatest apostles, to
being the greatest of sinners, I took the opposite course. I started out knowing
that I had been one the greatest of sinners who had found grace, but ended up
thinking that I was one of the greatest apostles. It was because of my great
pride, not insecurity like our friend here, that I began to attack everyone who
did not see everything just the way I did. Those who followed me I stripped of
their own callings, and even their personalities, pressuring them to all become
just like me. No one around me could be themselves. No one dared to question me
because I would crush them into powder; I thought that by making others smaller
I made myself larger. I thought that I was supposed to be the Holy Spirit to
everyone. From the outside my ministry looked like a smooth running machine
where everyone was in unity and there was perfect order, but it was the order of
a concentration camp. I took the Lord's own children and made them automatons in
my own image instead of His. In the end I was not even serving the Lord, but the
idol I had built to myself. By the end of my life I was actually an enemy of the
true gospel, at least in practice, even if my teachings and writings seemed
impeccably biblical."
"If that is true, that you became an enemy of the gospel, how is it that
you are still here?" I questioned.
"By the grace of God, I did trust in the cross for my own salvation, even
though I actually kept other men from it, leading them to myself rather than to
Him. The Lord remains faithful to us even when we are unfaithful. It was also by
his grace that the Lord took me from the earth sooner than He would have just so
those who were under me could find Him and come to know Him."
I could not have been more stunned to think that this was true of this
particular man. History had given us a very different picture of him. Reading
what was going on in my heart, he continued:
"God does have a different set of history books than those on the earth.
You have had a glimpse of this, but you do not yet know how different they are.
Earthly histories will pass away, but the books that are kept here will last
forever. If you can rejoice in what heaven is recording about your life, you are
blessed indeed. Men see through a glass darkly, so their histories will always
be clouded, and sometimes completely wrong. Very few, even very few Christians,
have the true gift of discernment. Without this gift it is impossible to
accurately discern truth in those of the present or the past. Even with this
gift it is difficult. Until you have been here, and been stripped, you will
judge others through distorted prejudices, either positive or negative. That is
why we were warned not to judge before the time. Until we have been here we just
cannot really know what is in the heart of others, whether they are performing
good or evil deeds. There have been good motives in even the worst of men, and
evil motives in even the best of them. Only here can men be judged by both their
deeds and their motives."
"When I return to earth, will I be able to discern history accurately
because I have been here?"
"You are here because you prayed for the Lord to judge you severely, to
correct you ruthlessly, so that you could serve Him more perfectly. This was one
of the most wise requests you ever made. The wise judge themselves lest they be
judged. The even wiser ask for the judgments of the Lord, because they realize
that they cannot even judge themselves very well. Having come here you will
leave with far more wisdom and discernment, but on earth you will always see
through a glass darkly to at least some degree. Your experience here will help
you to know men better, but only when you are fully here can you know them
fully. When you leave here you will be more impressed by how little you know men
rather than by how well you know them. This is just as true in relation to the
histories of men. I have been allowed to talk with you because I have in a sense
discipled you through my writings, and to know the truth about me will help you
greatly," the great Reformer concluded.
Then a woman stepped forward who I did not know. Her beauty and grace was
breathtaking, but it was not sensual, or seductive in any way. She was the
definition of dignity and nobility.
"I was his wife on earth," she began. "Much of what you know of
him actually came from me, therefore what I am about to say is not just about
him, but about us. You can reform the church without reforming your own soul.
You can dictate the course of history, and yet not do the Father's will, or
glorify His Son. If you commit yourself to making human history, you may do it,
but it is a fleeting accomplishment that will evaporate like a wisp of
smoke."
"But your husband's work, or your work, greatly impacted every generation
after him for good. It is hard to imagine how dark the world would have been
without him," I protested.
"True. But you can gain the whole world and still loose your own soul. Only
if you keep your own soul pure can you impact the world for the truly lasting
eternal purpose of God. My husband lost his soul to me, and he only gained it at
the end of his life because I was taken from the earth so that he could. Much of
what he did he did more for me than for the Lord. I pressured him, and even gave
him much of the knowledge that he taught. I used him as an extension of my own
ego, because as a woman at the time I could not be recognized as a spiritual
leader myself. I took over his life so that I could live my life through Him.
Soon I had him doing everything just to prove himself to me."
"You must have loved her very much." I said looking at him.
"No. I did not love her at all. Neither did she love me. In fact, after
just a few years of marriage we did not even like each other. But we both needed
each other, so we found a way to work together. The more successful we became in
this way, the more unhappy we became, and the more deception we used to fool
those who followed us. We were empty wretches by the end of our lives. The more
influence that you gain by you own self-promotion, the more striving you must do
to keep your influence, and the more dark and cruel your life will become. Kings
feared us, but we feared everyone from the kings to the peasants. We could trust
no one because we were living in such deception ourselves we did not even trust
each other. We preached love and trust, because we wanted everyone to love and
trust us, but we feared and secretly despised everyone ourselves. If you preach
the greatest truths but do not live them, you are only the greatest
hypocrite."
Their words began to pound me like a hammer. I could see that already my life
was heading in the same direction. How much was I doing to promote myself rather
than Christ. I began to see how much I did just to prove myself to others,
especially those who disliked me, or who I felt in competition with in some way.
I began to see how much of my own life was built on the facades of a projected
image that belied who I really was. But here I could not hide. This great cloud
of witnesses all knew who I was beyond the veil of my projected motives.
I looked again at this couple. They were now so guileless and so truly noble
that it was impossible to question their motives. They were gladly exposing
their most devious sins for my sake, and were genuinely glad to be able to do
it.
"I may have had a wrong concept of you be your history and your writings,
but I have even more esteem for you now. I pray that I can carry from this place
the integrity and freedom that you have now. I am tired of trying to live up to
projected images of myself. How I long for that freedom." I lamented,
wanting desperately to remember every detail of this encounter. Then the famous
Reformer offered a final exhortation:
"Do not try to teach others to do what you are doing yourself. Reformation
is not just a doctrine. True reformation only comes from union with the Savior.
When you are yoked with Christ, carrying the burdens that He gives you, He will
be with you and carry them for you. You can only do His work when you are doing
it with Him, not just for Him. Only the Spirit can beget that which is Spirit.
If you are yoked with Him you will do nothing for the sake of politics or
history. Anything that you do because of political pressures, or opportunities,
will only lead you to the end of your true ministry. The things that are done
for the sake of trying to make history will at best doom your accomplishments to
history, and you will fail to impact eternity. If you do not live what you
preach to others you disqualify yourself from the high calling of God, just as
we did. I will tell you what will keep you on the path of life-love the Savior
and seek His glory alone. Everything that you do to exalt yourself will one day
bring you the most terrible humiliation. Everything that you do out of true love
for the Savior, to glorify His name, will extend the limits of His eternal
kingdom, and ultimately result in a much higher place for yourself. Live for
what is recorded here. Care nothing for what is recorded on earth."
As they walked away I was again being overwhelmed by my own sin. The times that
I had used people for my own purposes, or even used the glorious name of Jesus,
to further my own ambitions, or to make myself look better, began to cascade
down upon me. Here, where I could behold the power and glory of the One I had so
used, it became more repulsive than I thought I could stand. I fell on my face
in the worst despair I had ever known. After what seemed like an eternity of
seeing these people and events pass before me, I felt the woman lifting me to my
feet again. I was overcome by her purity, especially as I now felt so evil and
corrupt. I had the strongest desire to worship her because she was so pure.
"Turn to the Son," she said emphatically. "Your desire to worship
me, or anyone else at this time, is only an attempt to turn the attention away
from yourself, and justify yourself by serving what you are not. I am pure now
because I turned to Him. You need to see the corruption that is in your own
soul, but then you must not dwell on yourself, or seek to justify yourself with
dead works, but turn to Him."
This was said in such genuine love and concern that it was impossible to be hurt
or offended but it. When she saw that I understood, she continued:
"The purity that you saw in me was what my husband first saw in me when we
were young. I was relatively pure in my motives then, but I corrupted his love
and my own purity by letting him worship me wrongly. You can never become pure
just by worshiping one who is more pure than you, but only by going beyond them
to find for yourself the One who has made them pure, and in Whom alone is no
sin. The more people praised us, and the more we accepted their praises, the
further we departed from the path of life. Then we started living for the
praises of men, and to gain power over those who would not praise us. That was
our demise, and was the same for many who are here in the lowest place, but were
called to be in the highest."
Wanting to simply prolong our conversation, I asked the next thing that came to
my mind, "Is it difficult for you and your husband to be here
together?"
"Not at all. All of the relationships that you have on earth are continued
here, and they are all purified by the judgment. The more that you are forgiven
the more that you love. Of course, the Lord forgave us more than anyone, and
here we all love Him much more than anyone else. After we forgave each other we
loved each other more. Now our relationship is continuing in much greater depth
and richness because we are joint heirs of this salvation. As deep as the wounds
went, that is now deep the love was able to go once we were healed. We could
have experienced this on earth, but we did not learn forgiveness in time. If we
had learned forgiveness the competition that entered our relationship, and
sidetracked our life, would not have been able to take root in us. If you truly
love, you will easily forgive. The harder it is for you to forgive, the further
you are from true love. Forgiveness is essential if you are to stay on the path
of life. Without it many things can knock you off the course chosen for
you."
At the can time I realized that this woman, who had brought me into this
confrontation with such pain at my depravity, was also the most attractive
person I could ever remember meeting. It was not romantic attraction, but I just
did not want to leave her. Perceiving my thoughts, she withdrew a step,
indicating that she was about to go, but offered me one last insight.
"The pure truth, spoken in pure love, will always attract. You will
remember the pain you feel here, and it will help you through the rest of your
life. Pain is good; it shows you where there is a problem. Do not try to reduce
the pain until you find and address the problem. God's truth often brings pain
as it highlights a problem that we have, but His truth will always show us the
way to freedom, and true life. When you know this you will even begin to rejoice
in your trials, which are all allowed to help keep you on the path of
life."
"Also, your attraction to me in not out of order. It is the attraction
between male and female that was given in the beginning, which is always pure in
its true form. When pure truth is combined with pure love, men can be the men
they were created to be without having to dominate out of insecurity. Women can
be the women they were created to be because their love has replaced their fear.
Love will never manipulate or try to control out of insecurity, because love
casts out all fear. The very place where relationships can be the most corrupted
is also where they can be the most fulfilling. As your mind is renewed by the
Spirit of Truth, you will not see relationships as an opportunity to get from
others, but to give. Giving is the greatest fulfillment that we can ever know.
It is a taste of heaven where we give to the Lord in pure worship, which has an
ecstasy that even the most wonderful relationships on earth are but a fleeting
glimpse of. What we experience in worship here your frail little unglorified
body could not endure. The true worship of God will purify the soul for the
glories of true relationships. Therefore, you must not seek relationships, but
pure worship. Only then can relationships start to be what they are supposed to
be. True love never seeks the upper hand, but the lowest place of service. If my
husband and I had kept this in our marriage, we would be sitting next to the
King now, and this great hall would be filled with many more souls."
With that she disappeared back into the ranks of the glorified saints. I looked
again towards the throne and the glory that appeared so much more beautiful that
I was taken aback. Another man standing close to me explained:
"With each encounter, a veil is being removed so that you can see Him more
clearly. You are not changed just by seeing His glory, but by seeing it with an
unveiled face. Everyone who comes to the true judgments of God walks a corridor
such as this to meet those who can help them remove whatever veils they are
still wearing; veils that will distort their vision of Him."
I had already absorbed more understanding than I felt like my many years of
study on earth had given me. I then began to feel that all of my study and
seeking on earth had only lead me forward at a snail's pace. How could many
lifetimes prepare me for the judgment? My life had already disqualified me more
than all of those whom I had met, and they barely made it here!
Then another man emerged from the ranks. He had been a contemporary of mine, and
I did not know that he had died. I had never met him on earth, but he had a
great ministry which I respected very much. Through men that he had trained,
thousands had been led to salvation, and many great churches had been raised up.
He asked if he could just embrace me for a minute, and I agreed, feeling a bit
awkward. When we embraced I felt such love coming from him that a great pain
that was deep within me stopped hurting. I had become so used to the pain that I
did not even notice it until it stopped. After he released me I told him that
his embrace had healed me of something. His joy at this was profound. Then he
began to tell me why he was in the lowest rank in heaven.
"I became so arrogant near the end of my life that I could not imagine that
the Lord would do anything of significance unless He did it through me. I began
to touch the Lord's anointed, and do His prophets harm. I was selfishly proud
when the Lord used one of my own disciples, and I became jealous when the Lord
moved through anyone who was outside of my own ministry. I would search for
anything that was wrong with them which I could attack. I did not know that
every time I did this I only demoted myself further."
"I never knew that you had done anything like that," I said,
surprised.
"I incited men under me to investigate others and do my dirty work. I had
them scour the earth to find any error or sin in the life of others to expose
them. I became the worst thing that a man can become on the earth-a stumbling
block who produced other stumbling blocks. We sowed fear and division throughout
the church, all in the name of protecting the truth. In my self-righteousness I
was headed for perdition. In His great mercy the Lord allowed me to be struck by
a disease that would bring about a slow and humiliating death. Just before I
died I came to me senses and repented. I am just thankful to be here at all. I
may be one of the least of His here, but it is much more than I deserve. I just
could not leave this room until I had a chance to apologize to those of you that
I so wronged."
"But you never wronged me," I said.
"Oh, but I did indeed," he replied. "Many of the attacks that
came against you were from those whom I had agitated and encouraged in their
assaults on others. Even though I may not have personally carried the attacks
out, the Lord holds me as responsible as those who did."
"I see. Certainly I forgive you."
I was already beginning to remember how I had done this same thing, even if on a
smaller scale. I recalled how I had allowed disgruntled former members of a
church to spread their poison about that church without stopping them. I knew
that by just allowing them to do this without correcting them I had encouraged
them to continue. I remember thinking that this was justified because of the
errors of that church. I then began to remember how I had even repeated many of
their stories, justifying it by saying it was only to enlist prayers for them.
Soon a great flood of other such incidents began to arise in my heart. Again, I
was starting to be overwhelmed by the evil and darkness of my own soul.
"O, too, have been a stumbling block!" I wailed, dropping again to my
knees. I knew that I deserved death, that I deserved the worst kind of hell. I
had never seen such ruthlessness and cruelty as I was now seeing in my own
heart.
"And we always comforted ourselves by actually thinking that we were doing
God a favor when we attacked His own children," came the understanding
voice of this man. "It is good for you to see this here, because you can go
back. Please warn my disciples of their impending doom if they do not repent.
Many of them are called to be kings here, but