My Testimony

When talking with my aunt she told me a story how she had made a deal with the virgin Mary and had needed some money to pay off some bill and so she placed a rose on the alter every Sunday for one year and then she got her money. So I figured, "Hey, let me try that!" and at once I prayed to God and tried to strike a deal with Him. I told Him I would give up my lunch period and pray in the chapel everyday if He would get the other kids to quit picking on me. This of course had a reverse effect and the kids just picked on me all the more for being a sissy and going to the chapel all the time. I became discouraged and figured that there was no God. So I took my rosary and spit on it and threw it away and became an atheist at age 14.

By the time I reached age 16 my search for God (yes I continued my search not even knowing it was Him I was searching for) had led me to the eastern mysticism. I read all the books I could get my hands on about reincarnation, spiritualism, and the occult. Also about this time I had finally gained acceptance with my peers by becoming a burnout (participant of the sex, drugs, and rock & roll culture). I started formulating my own twisted brand of beliefs based on Buddhism, demonology, Carlos Castanada, LSD, and Anton LeVey.

There was this fellow from a local church that used to come out to where we would hang out across the street from the school at lunchtime and preach and pray with the kids. For some reason I really hated Christians and this one in particular. So I would go over and try to mess up his preaching by asking stupid questions and taunting him. One day we got into an argument and I was going on asking him to show me the power of his God. Suddenly the Holy Spirit came on this fellow and he leaned close to me and looked me in the eye and prophesied to me, "My God doesn't always show His power in flashy ways but this I will tell you, before the year ends He will reveal Himself to you!". I shot him the bird and laughed in his face and walked off not thinking about what he said it was so trivial to me.

Several months later I was sitting at a friend's house by myself waiting for them to come back from robbing a pharmacy in Georgia. It was my job if they got caught to bail them out. I was flipping channels on the TV when I came across this preacher. What made me stop to watch him for a minute was he was big, black, and sweating profusely and making a spectacle of himself. So I stopped on that channel so I could laugh at him. Just as I was about to change the channel he looks into the camera and says, "Don't you change that channel, I've got a message from God to you! Don't you realize your believing that very selfsame first 2 lies that Satan told Eve in the garden of Eden? You shall not surely die. You shall be as gods. This is what reincarnation teaches!". I was stunned!!! What he said struck me right to the bone! I turned off the TV completely astonished. Here I was a completely stubborn and evil 16 year old who had a full set of beliefs worked out whose foundation was the doctrine of reincarnation and the words of this TV preacher yanked my foundation right from under me and my whole belief system came tumbling down! This would never have happened but for the grace of God as I never believed what the Christians said. But this word cleaved me to my soul.

Right then and there I believed in God again. And realized in anguish that I was a horrible mess and I decided to give up stealing and lying for fear of the judgement. I gave up my built up false belief structure and realized that the Bible was true in that I now believed that reincarnation was a continuation of the first lie told to man by Satan. But I didn't believe the whole Bible. I still did not believe in Jesus. I simply realized that God was there.

Then I began a whole new adventure in my life of seeking God for real. I started reading the Bible for the second time in my life. I was amazed at what I found in the New Testament after I started reading it. Almost everything the Catholic Church and people I had talked to taught me about God and the Bible was wrong! Indeed the Bible taught things that were directly opposite of many of the things I had been taught.

It was from age 16 to age 20 that I fought the hardest battle of my life. That of trying to quit sinning so God wouldn't be mad at me. Those 4 years were like a roller coaster I would be "Holy Joe" for a week then "Evil Eddie" the next. Back and forth I would bounce never achieving righteousness.

Then one day when I was age 20 I had been partying all night. I was trying to get back home but I was lost and driving around. I turned on the radio but the only thing playing was Christian music and I had no taste for that so I changed the station. The same song was playing! So I changed it again getting irritated. The same song was playing on every radio station! It was a song that was saying, "Why don't you pray to Him?" and I knew the Him was Jesus whom I didn't believe in and I was getting mad. So I turned off the radio but the music kept playing! So I pull off the road and listen to the music and its singing, "He is waiting for you to pray to Him. He's the only one who can help you." The song was really beautiful and it was sung by a chorus of many voices and a large orchestra. Finally something inside of me gave. It was like a chain snapping. I started crying and admitted Jesus was real. I then prayed to Him and asked Him to help me quit sinning and to be my King and to forgive me. The music then changed to triumph and praise of the almighty Lord God. And I received the Holy Spirit and then I knew my sins had been forgiven and a giant weight lifted off of me that I didn't even know existed. Peace, love, and joy flooded my mind and I started praising God and joined in singing the song that was playing. I started the car and drove straight home not lost anymore.

After I got back to my apartment I started praying to God and praising Him as I kneeled in my living room. Then I got a knock on my door. I answered it and it was one of the guys who I had been partying with that night and he was mad. He thought I had stolen his marijuana. I was filled with the Holy Spirit and told him my experience and then I told him, "As proof of what I say is true and so that you can know that I have received the Holy Spirit who knows ALL things, your marijuana is in the top drawer of your dresser under your socks where you hid it and no-one could know that except God and even YOU forgot where you put it." He said it better be there or I'll come back here and kill you. Then he slammed the door and stormed off.

The guy returned and he wasn't mad anymore, he was puzzled instead. How did you know where the reefer was? He asked me. I then retold my experience to him and told him how simple the gospel was. Indeed I was rejoicing in my newfound knowledge of Jesus and I expounded to him about how all you had to do was trust Jesus. He started crying and telling me about all the people he had killed in Viet-Nam and then he knelt down there with me and prayed to Jesus to forgive him and help him and be his King and the Holy Spirit fell on him too! He started praising God and we were both crying and praising God together for about an hour.

 After he left I decided to go share my newfound knowledge of Jesus with a friend of mine who lived on the other side of the apartment complex. As I neared his apartment building I noticed this little vine about 3 feet tall growing on the side of the building. Being filled with the love of Christ I felt love for this little plant and said to it, "I bless you in the name of Jesus Christ. Grow strong and tall!". Then I went to visit my friend. He didn't want to hear about it and told me to go away. The reason I mention this part is that about 3 months later I went by that building and was amazed to see a giant vine that completely covered the entire side of the apartment building! It was the little plant I had blessed! And there was this gardener standing there looking at it scratching his head.

After I visited my friend the Holy Spirit told me to go to this church. I had never seen this church before nor did I know where it was but I knew that I was to drive up this one street I had never been on before and I knew I was heading to a church. When I got to the church I thought, "All right! If the Holy Spirit sent me here it must really be great!" so I rushed in. There was about 20 people in the church. All of them over 60 years old. The preacher was just finishing a sermon about tithing. And the Holy Spirit was not in there. I was really disappointed. With a heavy heart I left. As I came out and looked across the parking lot I saw another church that shared the same parking lot. The sun was shining on it and to me it looked glorious! I went in that church and the service was over. The pastor and an elder were laying hands on a woman and praying over her. The Holy Spirit told me to join them. So I went over and laid my hands on the pastor and elder and joined them in their prayer, "In the name of Jesus, be healed. In the name of Jesus!" And we all started saying, "In the name of Jesus!" over and over then I heard a deep voice joining ours saying it with us. Like the voice of many waters. Then I realized that the woman was epileptic. Then I felt the epilepsy leave her!!! As far as I know, she hasn't had another epileptic fit since we prayed.

Well there I was with long stringy hair hanging down past my shoulders. Concert T-shirt, ripped Levi's, and flip-flops on. But the pastor and elder welcomed me to their church and they both became my friends.

About a month after that I was a renewed human being. Because my insides had changed, naturally my outside changed to reflect it. I got a haircut. And was constantly filled with peace of mind and love for everyone. I was heading for the Durham courthouse to answer a charge of reckless driving and possession of drug paraphernalia which I had received a while before I had accepted the new covenant through Jesus' sacrifice. In front of the courthouse there was this fellow walking by shouting through a megaphone, "Repent! Repent! The kingdom of God is at hand! If you died today, where will you be tomorrow? Repent!!!". His countenance glowed with the joy of the Spirit and I was amazed because I sensed that he had literally hundreds of angels accompanying him! All the way to court I had been worried and praying to God to help me with my charges. I went up to this guy and asked him if he knew all those angels were with him and he grinned at me and nodded yes then gave me a great big hug that energized my spirit and filled me with the joy he was feeling. As I left him and entered the courthouse 2 angels separated from him and followed me in!

When my turn before the judge arrived, they read out all my charges and asked, "How do you plead?" Suddenly I was completely filled with the Holy Spirit and the Spirit proceeded to speak through me. I walked back and forth in the courtroom in front of the judge preaching the gospel to the entire courtroom explaining how I was no longer the same person who had been charged with those crimes. I talked for a good 20 minutes! When I was done the courtroom was dead silent. I could tell everyone was waiting for the judge to throw the book at me. Everyone was holding their breath. Then the judge banged his gavel and said, "Judgement is… NO JUDGEMENT!"

Everyone let out their breath at the same time and stared at me in amazement as I left the courtroom praising God scott free!

A little while after this the Holy Spirit led me to preach the gospel on Duke street in Chapel Hill, NC near the campus of Duke University on Friday nights. This street is wher4e all the college kids go to walk upo and down bar hopping and hang out on the weekends. Usually more than 1000 people on that street partying. During the time of this ministry the Holy Spirit brought many to Christ, miraculously healed many people, and generally constantly amazed me with what He could do. But after about 6 months I became lifted up with pride. Thinking in my heart that I was so Godly to be able to do all these things for God and Satan used this chink in my armor to attack me with my own lusts. I met a girl that drove me crazy with desire and I begged God to let me marry her but God warned me that she was not my bride and to be patient and He would give me a bride in due time. But my pride and impatience caused me to become evil and I prayed to Satan asking him to give the girl to me and I would give up my ministry.

Needless to say Satan jumped at that chance and gave her to me (she was his to give she was fully in his power). This was my ruin. I lost my job. I lost my ministry. After a wild ride I lost the girl. I lost my faith. I went to live with my grandmother completely crushed, spiritless, and without hope. Then like a dog returning to his vomit I started taking drugs again, and drinking again, and sleeping around again, and doing all the worldly sinful things that lead to death. I had entrapped myself back into the bondage of sin.

After 2 years of this I had nearly come to the point where I no longer believed in God anymore (amazing how far we can fall!). I was sitting in my backyard listening to the AM radio. Listening to one of those call-in shows that give you worldly advice for your problems. It was a beautiful day. I was pondering in my mind the events of a few years ago where I had the street ministry and saw so many miracles take place and decided to pray. I shouted up to God in my mind, "Hey God do you really exist?" but got no reply. Then on the radio some lady called in (keep in mind this was a secular broadcast) and she said, "I have no question but God told me to tell that boy who asked Him if He existed that He does indeed exist." And of course they hurried up and hung up on her. I turned off the radio amazed. Then I said to myself, "Aww it was just a co-incidence." So then I prayed again, "God was that really you?" and then the clouds lit up with heat lightening! I thought, "That could still be a co-incidence." And I prayed again, "God was that REALLY you?" and the clouds lit up again with an amazing spectacle of heat lightening. My hardened heart was still not convinced and I waited a half an hour and no more lightening and then I asked a fourth time, "God was that you?" This time I saw the hugest display of lightening I have ever seen in my life, the fire jumped from cloud to cloud and there was very loud thunder and I got so scared I ran into the house and repented before God on my hands and knees.

That was over 8 years ago and He has been drawing me back to Him ever since. But it has been a bumpy road for me. Even after all that I still was living in the world drinking, smoking, watching what I pleased on TV, hardly ever reading the Bible. It would have been impossible to tell I was a Christian by looking at my life. The only thing I had at that time was a sure knowledge that Jesus had died for me and God was real. Well apparently God decided to shake me up. And I started to feel a hunger for Him again. So I started investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (No, don't stop reading, I'm not a Mormon anymore thank God!) What led me to investigate them was the following line of reason: Jesus stated that people who followed Him would be persecuted and people would speak evil of them. The only churches I knew that everyone spoke evil of was the Jehovah Witnesses and the Mormons. Since I had already thrown the Jehovah Witnesses out of my house for changing John 1:1 to read that the Word was "a" God I decided that maybe the Mormons had something going for them. So I started talking to Mormons on the internet and questioning them. Their answers always seemed Biblical to me and they have this deal in the Book of Mormon that tells you to ask God if the Book of Mormon is true and God will reveal it to you. So I read the Book of Mormon and though now I realize that most of it was plagiarized from the Bible back then I was amazed at how it seemed to genuinely be another testament of Jesus Christ as they claimed.

So I prayed to God and asked Him if it was His word or not. I got no immediate reply. But one morning as I was taking a bath and getting ready to attend a Mormon service for the first time I fell asleep in the bathtub. What I mistook for an angel appeared to me there in the bathroom! I realize now it was a fallen angel disguised as a good angel. But I was completely fooled by it at the time. It told me that the testament (Book of Mormon) was true and God wanted me in His priesthood! Then it left and I woke up. I was stunned. Right then and there I reasoned that Joseph Smith must be a prophet if the Book of Mormon was true and I joined that church. It was AFTER I joined the church that they started teaching me their more bizarre beliefs such as baptism by proxy for dead people and the 3 levels of heaven that people can earn their way into by following certain teachings. And exaltation which is the highest level of heaven where a person becomes a god. These teachings did not rest well with me. The whole time the Holy Spirit kept telling me, "These teachings are FALSE!" but because the demon convinced me Joseph Smith was a prophet I just ignored the Spirit and figured I was not spiritually advanced enough to accept those "truths".

But thank God that as I was preparing to go to the temple for my "endowment ceremony" I became extremely curious as to what this ceremony entailed. No-one in the church would talk about it. It’s a secret. They say its too holy to speak of outside the temple. But I was not about to take part in a ceremony without knowing something about it so I searched the web for information. I found a complete transcript of the ceremony. If your curious, click here to read it.

Well what I read was the straw that broke the camels back. I no longer believed that Joseph Smith was a prophet since the endowment ceremony was so obviously not of God and I quit the church in December of 1996.

As soon as I quit the Mormon church it was as if a bondage was lifted away from me and I immediately felt the presence of the Holy Spirit again. Since that time, God has called me to a closer walk with Him. I read His word every day and am learning more and more about Him.

All glory and honor and power is His!

Amen!

With love in Christ,

David Bearrow

6-24-97

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